


And it all began... (at Chan’s Party)

by chnglixhoe



Series: In Denial [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Explicit Sexual Content, Felix is a sweetheart, Fluff, Got drunk at a Party, Implied Gangbang, Internal homophobia, M/M, Mentioned Drunk Sex, Party, Porn With Plot, changbin is a dick, cursing, hook ups, i swear this is fluff too, mentioned drug use, pls don’t do that, really slight degradation, they mixed it with the drinks so, they’re kinda irresponsible, they’re soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:07:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29307762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chnglixhoe/pseuds/chnglixhoe
Summary: “You... hear rumors about me... don’t you?”Changbin felt a wet, fat stripe as Felix flattened his tongue against the former’s jean-clad crotch. A visible tent had formed there. If Changbin wasn’t hard before, he definitely is now.He looked at Felix again, who looked up at him with a smirk and lustful eyes while his hair is tugged back by Changbin.“Wanna prove the rumors for yourself?”SHIT—orChangbin is straight. Felix has issues. What happens when one drunken night at a party pulls them towards each other with neither wanting to pull apart?
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Series: In Denial [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152617
Comments: 33
Kudos: 170





	And it all began... (at Chan’s Party)

**Author's Note:**

> heyooo i enjoyed writing this so i hope you enjoy reading this as well! this is the first installation to my first series “In Denial” so yeah, expect a part 2. but for now, enjoy this! I love changlix so much!! I will literally go down with this ship.
> 
> mind the tags :)
> 
> also, not that i had it happened to me, but pls don’t repost anywhere :)
> 
> Enjoy!!

***

Changbin’s eyes fluttered open, slowly. He blinked, one time, two times, trying to adjust to the bright light from the rays of the very much, already present sun, permeating through the window and bathing the entirety of the room which, he now noticed... was not his own.

This wasn’t his room.

_Oh shit—_

“Ahh! Fuck!”

His hand immediately flew to clutch at his temples. His head hurt, like really hurt. He felt like it was being split open, damn. Hangover? How much did he drink? He couldn’t even remember what happened.

And oh shit, he was naked.

He tried looking beneath the blankets, not surprised at all to see he wasn’t even wearing any underwear. He fucked with someone for sure, that much was obvious, but with who?

His thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door, the familiar sight of a curly, bleached blonde man came into view. A dimpled smile spread across his face when he saw the younger male on the bed awake.

“Hey Changbin.”

“Chan”

Right, it was Chan’s party. So Changbin is in one of his guestrooms most probably.

The man called Chan entered the room completely and Changbin took notice of the glass of water on his right hand, and a... probably aspirin, on the other.

Chan handed it to him and Changbin took it without question.

“You got really wasted last night.”

Changbin groaned. “Tell me about it. My head hurts like hell and I can’t even remember anything.”

Chan chuckled. “Too bad then cuz, you looked like you had a really fun night.”

Changbin’s brows draw together in a frown but Chan just gave him a ridiculous, not to mention, silly grin. When Changbin did not get the clue, Chan sighed and nodded towards the other’s chest and oh shit—

What the actual fuck?

How had he not noticed the prominent marks and hickeys that littered his chest? Heck there must be some on his neck too.

It’s not like Changbin never had any hickeys before but this was... how could he describe it... _excessive_?

“I’ve never seen that many hickeys bro.”

Changbin knows.

The sex must have been fucking wild, really damn hot. Chan was right, too bad. He had absolutely no recollection of what happened. Changbin just has to know the girl behind these marks. The girl who knocked him up so good, though he couldn’t remember it. Maybe they can go for round two, who knows.

“A’ight since you looked very much okay, I’m gonna go ahead and attend to the rest now. Then we can all have breakfast.”

The older man left Changbin with his thoughts and the younger cursed. He forgot to ask Chan if the latter had any idea of his mystery hook up girl last night. He’d make sure to ask him later. But for now, he had to get dressed.

Once Changbin arrived in Chan’s kitchen, it was utter chaotic. Mostly because of Jisung whining about his hangover and Jeongin scolding him for drinking too much. Changbin wondered who’s the older one again?

Chan meanwhile, was cooking breakfast. The smell of bacon and eggs filling the apartment.

“I’m dying!” Jisung’s dramatic ass said. “I am never drinking again!”

Jeongin visibly rolled his eyes at that. “You say that all the time you wake up with a hangover.”

“Oh hush it— ah Changbin-hyung! I see that you spend the night as well.” Jisung said once he finally took notice of Changbin taking a seat along the dining table with them.

“No, all that alcohol in your system is messing with your head and making you hallucinate me here.” It was Jisung’s turn to roll his eyes at the older’s antics which made Changbin chuckled and ruffled the younger’s hair. Jisung swatted it away and that’s when Changbin noticed something.

“Damn Sung, what happened to your face?”

There was a nasty, dark purplish bruise that formed on his left eye and it seemed that his cheek had gotten puffier. Not in the least nice way at all. It was as if it was swelling, which it probably was.

Jisung pouted and Jeongin looked as if he was holding back his laughter. Chan chortled on the other hand, not bothering to hide his amusement.

“Jisung tried to hit on a girl last night drunk. And her boyfriend saw and the rest was history.” Jeongin tried to explain in between huffs of laughter that he tried so hard to control. His shoulders shook slightly at the effort.

Jisung groaned. “That’s why I said, I am never drinking again!”

“Meanwhile, seems like one of us here at least had a good night. Or was it the best night yet?”

Chan interjected with a suggestive smile on his lips directed Changbin’s way as he placed the cooked foods on the table and sat with them. Jeongin looked at him with a smirk of his own while Jisung mirrored his confused expression.

“What are you guys talking about?” Jisung looked lost with the conversation, but of course he was.

“Our Changbin here got himself a good lay, isn’t that right Changbin?”

The said male groaned. “I don’t even remember shit. It doesn’t count.”

Chan looked at him with faux sympathy. “Too bad then. I heard Felix had always been a really good fuck...”

Wait what?

The conversation died in Changbin’s ears. Felix? Why were they talking about him?

“What has Felix got to do with any of this? Did you fuck him?” Changbin was aiming for a tease but he was caught off guard with the silence that followed.

Chan and Jeongin exchanged looks while Jisung still looked as lost as ever. Probably as lost as Changbin right then. Chan and Jeongin then looked at Changbin once again. Either opened and closed their mouths, as if contemplating what to tell Changbin and who would spill the beans already.

“What?!” Changbin snapped, growing impatient at the looks exchanged by both males and the fact that it was most likely, concerning him.

“... uhh you did.” Jeongin finally said. Changbin was more confused than ever. His eyebrows drawn together.

“I did what?” He asked again.

“You fucked Felix... last night.” Jeongin said seriously.

He what?!

It took a moment of silence before Changbin began bursting into heaps of laughter. Not at something particularly funny just, it was ridiculous. What they said was ridiculous. Chan and Jeongin, they were being ridiculous.

“Guys come on, that’s impossible. You can stop playing with me now. Which girl did I fuck with last night?” Changbin could at least remember a couple of girls he met at the party but he just couldn’t recall which he had fun last night with. Fuck being drunk. “This isn’t funny guys, tell me seriously and stop fooling around.”

But Chan and Jeongin looked serious as hell. No sign of them playing around or fooling Changbin. Jisung on the other hand was stunned silenced. His eyes wide at Changbin.

“We’re really not. You guys were pretty close last night’s party. Then you two suddenly disappeared.” Chan explained.

“Yeah. And I saw Felix walked out from the room you’re in just this morning. Not too long before you woke up.” Jeongin added.

“Wait wait wait, you guys are not kidding? Changbin and Felix? What... what... how? Why?” Jisung said in disbelief, voicing out exactly what Changbin failed to.

Him and Felix? Seriously? Him, Seo Changbin? The very much straight and dark boy Seo Changbin? And the infamous Lee Felix, the campus whore? Fucked?! For real?! But Changbin would never! He was straight, and that would be gross because Felix was... Felix was a guy... He didn’t really... did he?

Jeongin shrugged.

“They were drunk.”

“HOLY SHIT—“

Jisung was right. Holy shit!!

“Well... well why did you not stop me?! You said you saw me, CHAN?!” Changbin said accusingly at the older. His breaths panicked and angry.

Chan’s eyes widened. “What? I thought you swing both ways! Or maybe didn’t care about genders, I don’t know!” Chan said defensively.

“You knew I was straight!” Changbin hissed. “I’m not like you who fucks everything that moves!”

“But you were clearly flirting with him so I just thought that maybe you’re not so straight like you thought.”

“I was DRUNK!” Changbin growled.

“Oh, so you can’t tell genders apart when drunk?!” Chan growled back.

“OKAY ENOUGH!” Jeongin said, annoyed. “What’s done is done. And Changbin-hyung, if you can’t handle your liquor maybe you shouldn’t be drinking then? And this goes to all of you! Now stop pointing fingers and take responsibility for your own actions!” With that, Jeongin left, leaving his hyungs in an awkward silence. Chan was frustrated, Changbin was upset and Jisung didn’t know what to do, cowering between the elder two.

Yes, Changbin was blaming Chan. It wasn’t right, the former knows it. But he was mad. He really was straight after all, and the older knew. They have been friends for a long time! Chan was at fault. He must’ve been sober, and he didn’t stop Changbin.

No wait...

This was all that slut Felix’s fault! He took advantage of Changbin when he was drunk. That fucking slut! The fucking audacity! Changbin was gonna give Felix a piece of his mind. Maybe Changbin should beat the shit out of him. Yeah, that should teach him his place.

***

The weekends went by in a bliss, Monday came and went just as fast. Changbin was still furious though, despite having no memories of the said night at Chan’s party. Where he and Felix—

Changbin couldn’t even bear to complete the sentence in his head. The mere thought of sleeping with another guy was enough to make his skin crawl.

After his last class, Changbin immediately marched out of the room, ignoring Jisung’s calls. He still had some unfinished business with a certain blonde.

Changbin didn’t know where he was going or where to even look. He and Felix never talked. He wasn’t even sure whether the latter knew him or not. Changbin only knew Felix because the younger was popular... not in the best ways though.

Changbin found himself in front of the dance practice room of their uni. Felix was a dance major, everyone knew that much, including Changbin of course. He peeked in through the small square glass on the door and sure enough, there was Felix, wiping his sweat with a hand towel. And he was alone, surprisingly.

The mere sight of Felix was enough to make his blood boil. Without much thought, Changbin went in. Felix must have heard the click sound of the door as it shuts but he was clearly expecting someone else.

“Oh good thing you came back! You forgot your phone charger Hyu—“

Felix’s deep voice hitched and his eyes widened, in shock at first, before it turned panicked at the sight of the raven-haired male.

Clearly he knew what’s up, Changbin thought as he approached the disquieted male.

“Seo! What... what’re you—“

Changbin slammed both his fists against the concrete wall where he had Felix cornered in no time.

“Hello Lee.” Changbin uttered firmly.

Felix stood stiff, caged between the wall and Changbin’s strong, muscled built. His head hung low so Changbin couldn’t quite see the other’s expression.

“Ch-changbin” Felix murmured.

Changbin’s face twitched. “So you know who I am.”

Felix shifted uncomfortably. “I... yeah... you’re... you’re popular.” His voice trailed off.

Was he? Changbin was a bit taken a back. He didn’t think he was popular enough that Felix would know him. He didn’t think he was popular period. But whatever, that wasn’t the issue right now.

“I think you owe me something, Lee.”

With that, Felix started fidgeting with his fingers nervously. His eyes refused to meet Changbin’s. Truth be told, Changbin had never seen Felix in this state, so little, so nervous. Felix had always been confident, chin up and head held high. Now it was the complete opposite.

“A-and what would that be?” Dumb slut.

“Don’t play dumb with me!” Changbin gritted his teeth. “You sneaky little bitch—“

“What did you just call me?!” Felix finally looked up, meeting Changbin’s eyes the first time. His confidence was back too. Changbin had never talked to the other male, at least none that he remembered but this tone of speaking suited him more.

Felix’s face was morphed into a deep frown. A rare sight, but Changbin gets to see it firsthand.

Changbin smirked. “You heard me. Or do you need me to repeat myself?”

Felix smiled, a little too forced. His lips and eyebrows twitched at the side.

“Please do. I’m not quite sure I heard you right.” There was a notable edge to the other’s voice, Changbin noticed... not like he was scared. What’s a skinny guy like him have to do anyway?

Changbin forced a smile of his own, one that showed his gritted teeth. “I called you a bitch. What about it?” He taunted.

Felix bit his lip, probably in annoyance. Changbin’s eyes subconsciously followed at the way Felix sunk his teeth on his bottom lip. Those pink, plump lips. He wondered what a set of pretty lips’ doing, belonging to a guy like that. No wonder Felix was popular for doing _that_. Who wouldn’t want those lips on them anyway?

Wait what?

The hell?! Changbin had to focus!

His eyes drifted back to Felix’s gleaming ones.

“Aww does that upset you?” Changbin taunted more. “What are you gonna do about it? Huh?”

Felix was shaking, his hands balled into fists, but then he just looked away, his body relaxing. “What are you doing here Seo? Please just tell me.” Felix said calmly, but Changbin was not having any of it.

“It’s because your desperate ass came after a poor, drunk, straight guy! You dare fuck with me—“

“You don’t even remember that, do you?”

How did he know? Did Changbin looked that drunk? That was even more reason to be angry then, right?

“See? So it doesn’t matter, does it? You don’t remember, it might as well not have happened right? I know your friends might have just told you. Just consider it as a prank or something I don’t know just, do us both a favor.”

Felix was right, and Changbin knew it. What’s the harm? He couldn’t remember. If not for Chan and Jeongin he wouldn’t even be here fuming. Felix was just right, but why did Changbin hate that? Why was he right? When he was the one who’d done Changbin dirty?

Was Changbin supposed to just let this go? He couldn’t. He’s just too mad, but why?

Changbin took another look at Felix and understood why.

Ah, it’s because this little bitch wasn’t even sorry.

“Arghh, let me go! Let me go right now!”

Felix was trying to sound tough, but fear was evident in his eyes as Changbin collared him against the wall.

“Bitch don’t fuck with me! You’re having too much fun with me aren’t you? You think I’m just gonna let this go and let you have your way?!” Changbin growled.

“Wha-what are you talking about? Let me go I said!”

Seconds later and Changbin was yanked away from Felix, almost falling off his feet and onto the ground, almost.

In front of him, a tall male with shoulder-length, blonde hair was comforting Felix.

“Felix are you okay? Did he try anything?” The new arrival asked with concern dripping in his voice.

“I’m okay.” Felix assured.

The taller blonde then faced Changbin with a livid expression.

Hwang Hyunjin.

“Excuse me man but you need to leave.”

The look in Hyunjin’s eye said he’s about ready to kill someone had Changbin not complied, so he did. Not before shooting one last glare at Felix to which the latter averted his gaze.

***

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Changbin didn’t— scratch that. He _NEVER_ expected to see Felix in front of his apartment. How did he even know? Did he? And what did he want? Or is it actually Jisung, Changbin’s roommate, who he’s after? They shared a few classes after all, that’s what Jisung said.

“Chan told me you lived here.”

Oh, so it was Changbin after all.

That bitch Chan.

“So? Did you came here to get beat or something?” Changbin said as he cracked his knuckles.

“I came here to make it up to you okay?” Felix said, unfazed.

But not to apologize huh. This kid.

“Make it up to me how?” Changbin was suspicious.

Felix rolled his eyes. “Just, let me in?”

So Changbin did, albeit hesitant. He watched as Felix took the time to look around his living room before settling on the long couch uninvited. The nerve of him.

Felix then motioned for Changbin to sit as well, as if he owned the place, and beside him of all places. Changbin groaned but complied anyways, sitting on the other end of the long couch not because Felix asked him to, but because it was the only thing in his living room that could be comfortably sat on. And he sure as hell, would not just let Felix have his way with him, in his own apartment!

He felt Felix’s stare on him as he crossed the room. Once Changbin was settled, Felix bounced on the couch in the way that his whole body would be facing Changbin’s way.

“Okay I know I said to forget but, I think it might be unfair to you who couldn’t remember.”

Where was he going with this?

“Trust me, that’s the best thing that happened—“

“So why were you mad?” Felix looked confused, face contorted into a frown.

“How did you think I was gonna react? I don’t fuck guys Felix.”

“You fucked me though.” Felix said in a low voice, not looking at Changbin.

“But I don’t remember doing that.” Changbin paused. “And I was drunk. You know what you’re right, it might as well never happened.”

Changbin did threw a fit about that then, but now that he got his shit together, he realized and finally admitted that Felix was right. Nobody else knew cept his friends, and no one else had to. As much as everybody else is concerned, Changbin was still pretty much straight.

And he is!

“Is this all that you came for? Cuz if it is you’d better skedaddle. We’re done talking about this, please don’t show your face to me again. That would be very much appreciated.”

Changbin was already up, ready to kick Felix out but the latter grabbed hold of his wrist.

“Wait! I said I’ll make it up to you didn’t I?”

Changbin stared down at the blonde male who looked up at him with puppy eyes.

What was that?

Changbin wasn’t supposed to, but he found it rather cute, he won’t ever admit it though. Felix was a guy, and guys weren’t supposed to be cute. Heck guys weren’t supposed to find other guys cute!

So he swatted Felix’s hands away.

“What the fuck do you even mean?” Changbin hissed, but Felix remained unfazed.

Felix’s eyes traveled from Changbin’s, down to his face and torso slowly, before finally stopping at his crotch.

_Oh no—_

“Aren’t you curious?”

Curious? What is he—

The look in Felix’s eyes when he looked back up sent shivers through Changbin’s whole body. The latter felt hands on his hips then. Felix was rubbing at his clothed hip slowly.

“Don’t you want to remember?”

_‘Why on earth would I want to?_ ’ Changbin wanted to say, but couldn’t. Cat got his tongue, he supposed.

“Lemme jog your memory a bit.”

Felix said as he nuzzled his face close to Changbin’s crotch, the latter’s thighs tensing at the action.

“F-felix” shit. He really just stuttered didn’t he? “The fuck are you up to?” Changbin bit his lip.

“You... hear rumors about me... don’t you?”

Felix said in between kisses along Changbin’s clothed, hard-packed stomach. The blonde was currently on his knees on the couch as his lips ghosted dangerously close to the most sensitive part of Changbin’s body down there.

Why was Changbin even hard?

Ah, it’s because of those fucking lips.

Changbin felt a wet, fat stripe as Felix flattened his tongue against the former’s jean-clad crotch. A visible tent had formed there. If Changbin wasn’t hard before, he definitely is now.

Felix mouthed at the outline of Changbin’s clothed cock and the latter slumped. His hands flew towards the younger’s head, gripping at the long blonde locks there which elicited a moan from Felix. The vibrations sent a wave of pleasure to Changbin’s body making him shudder.

He looked at Felix again, who looked up at him with a smirk and lustful eyes while his hair is tugged back by Changbin.

“Wanna prove the rumors for yourself?”

SHIT—

***

Aahh, Felix was good. That pretty mouth of his really does wonders to Changbin’s dick. He definitely knows what he’s doing. He’s practically an expert at this, if Changbin can say so himself.

Felix started out slow, kissing and nipping starting from the base of Changbin’s length to his tip, then diving his tongue in Changbin’s slit. Felix did it with full eye to eye contact. The feel of the younger’s tongue on him and the look he was giving Changbin was enough to send him into overdrive.

Fuck Felix looked so good like this!

Changbin wasn’t supposed to think that way. This was wrong. Felix was a guy. But all rational thoughts flew out the window the moment Felix finally wrapped his pretty lips around Changbin’s head after only giving it kitten licks, which was heaven in every sense of the word but this... this was unworldly!

Why didn’t he fuck Felix sooner?

He really missed out didn’t he?

Changbin let out low moans and grunts one after the other as Felix bobbed his head back and forth on his cock expertly. Felix’s tongue never stopping to work as it swirls around Changbin’s dick between intervals.

Ahh, shit, fuck... Felix’s mouth should be illegal. 

Just when he thougth he’d seen it all, a mountain of curses left Changbin’s lips as Felix fucking deepthroated him, swallowed his cock whole! Changbin’s grip on Felix’s locks tighten and he met the younger’s now, teary eyes, again. His cheeks glisten from the tear-streaks from having something so big down his throat.

Changbin had never seen such a beautiful sight before, even from girls.

His thoughts were interrupted in a snap when Felix got back to work, drawing his head back till only the tip was left in his mouth then swallowing him whole again in one swift motion.

Fuck fuck fuck!!

Changbin felt a build-up in his stomach and knew he wasn’t gonna last much longer. He was about to cum.

Felix was good and all, but Changbin needed more. He needed to reach something, that euphoric high of an orgasm, so he bucked his hips towards Felix, thrusting deeper into the blonde’s throat. And Felix moaned.

Fuck that felt good!

So Changbin bucked his hips again, and again, till he was fully face-fucking Felix and abusing the younger’s throat. Both hands now on either side of Felix’s head, keeping it still as Changbin uses it to chase his impending high.

A few more thrusts and Changbin was cumming hard down Felix’s throat. The latter’s nose buried against his pubes while his cock is buried deep, deep down the warm cavern that constricts around his length as Felix swallows all that he’s given him.

Changbin shudders and pants heavily, pulls out, then zips his cock back in his pants.

What just happened?

Felix looked completely fucked out, hair disheveled, eyes misty and unfocused but, he managed a lazy smile. Changbin can even say it was smug. Felix had all the right to be, he did good... better than good! Changbin won’t ever say it out loud though.

“How was I?”

Felix’s coarse voice hit Changbin like a train. The regret, the confusion. The reality of what they just did was sinking in and he’s not liking it.

He really did it this time. He was sober and did it with Felix, a guy. Why did he do it with Felix?

Well not really _do it_ do it, but still.

How did he cum from that? From a boy’s mouth?

“Changbin?”

“Not a word.” His voice was tight, firm, that Felix stiffened on his place on the couch.

“Wh-what?”

Tsk.

“One word about this to anybody and you’re dead.”

Changbin felt odd... there was a strange and slightly unwelcomed feeling when Felix’s smile faltered.

***

That night, Changbin couldn’t sleep. His mind is filled with thoughts of a certain blonde while Jisung was snoring from the other room. The image of Felix on his knees for him was stuck in his head. He’d never been like this before, though it wasn’t even his first blow.

In a way it was, with the same sex that is.

Changbin shudders.

But the picture of Felix, his lips girthed prettily around him, his damp cheeks and glossy eyes... those eyes.

Changbin was hard.

He didn’t talk to Felix after that. Felix had kept shut, which was good. It’s all good... so why was Changbin so restless?

Changbin had been restive, getting angry at the smallest things, snapping so easily at everybody. His friends complained a lot to him about it. Jisung calling him mean and Jeongin asking him of his problem.

“It’s nothing.” He would say. It really was. Perhaps Changbin hadn’t been aware of his ill temperament lately, not until his friends pointed it out. Had he really been that bad?

“When’s the last time you had sex?” Chan asked with a stupid smile on his face.

The last time... that was... Changbin shook his head. That doesn’t count! He still pretty much, don’t remember shit.

“Why the fuck are you asking?” Changbin snapped and Chan raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Woah chill! I just think you need to get laid.”

Get laid. Yes, Changbin probably needed to.

Chan, knowing everybody, had set him up with a girl in no time. Not that Changbin couldn’t get himself a girl if he really wanted to. She was pretty, just Changbin’s type. Changbin can definitely work with her.

“Hmm Changbin~”

Changbin felt the girl, who he didn’t bother learn the name of, dug her nails on his scalp as he sucked on a spot on her neck.

What is this? What is he doing? Why is he doing this?

Ahh right, because he needed to get laid, as Chan said so.

But why with her again? Because Chan had set them up? Because she’s just Changbin’s type? Because she’s pretty?

_Felix was prettier..._

What the fuck?!

Changbin focused on the kisses he trailed down the girl’s collarbones, making her gasp in pleasure. Her hands wrap around Changbin’s neck.

Because she’s the one here? Because Changbin can have her?

_Why can’t he have Felix then?_

“Why’d you stop?” The girl whined.

Oh, he stopped? Changbin was so deep in thought he didn’t notice.

Fuck!!

“You’re just so pretty I wanted to take my time.”

Changbin mentally cringed, but the girl just smiled widely, blush creeping her cheeks. She bought that?

Changbin felt tacky lipstick against his cheek as the girl gave him a quick peck before grinning at him.

“How about I do something for you now.” It was more of a statement than a question, and the girl proceeded to kiss at Changbin’s neck, down his chest, before lifting herself up from the table and dropping to her knees.

Changbin shivered like a virgin at how familiar this was. What was wrong with him, acting like he’d never had someone on their knees for him?

Changbin took a sharp breath when his dick was inside the girl’s mouth.

Girl... she was a girl. That’s why Changbin can have her. That’s why Changbin can’t have Felix. Because he’s...

But his thoughts only drifted back to Felix’s mouth.

Ahh, all warm and stretched just for him.

The mouth around him moved and he threw his head back, eyes shutting as pleasure took over his body.

_Aahh Felix!_

_Felix!_

_Feli—_

What the fuck?!!

Changbin’s eyes were wide with horror as he stared down at the girl on the floor, suddenly a few feet away from where he stood, and whose expression mirrored his own.

Changbin couldn’t get a grasp of what just happened. What the hell did he just do? The girl recovered first and her face contorted in anger, eyes glistening in shame, fury, and disbelief.

“What the hell is your problem?!”

Changbin was stunned silence.

“I-i’m sorry!”

“Fuck you!”

The girl stood up and fixed herself as she possibly could, shooting one last glare at Changbin before stomping her way out the empty classroom they were in.

Changbin didn’t dare stop her.

“Asshole!”

Fuck he deserved that. What was wrong with him?

But then he still have another problem. Changbin looked down at his exposed erection.

He had to take care of that.

After much contemplation, Changbin opted to go to the bathroom instead of ignoring it till he got home, not like he could at that point. So he speed-walked to the furthest bathroom ‘round the corner.

There weren’t much students left but he wasn’t taking any chances of getting caught while jerking off.

He came across a group of at least 5 males, all seniors and in their soccer team, on his way. They were laughing about something Changbin didn’t bother listen to.

He just had to get to the bathroom.

He locked the door immediately and went to the furthest cubicle and OH FUCKING—

“Ch-changbin?!” The surprise was there, but the voice came out weak and hoarse.

Changbin froze.

Felix... all blissed out and covered in cum, was on the toilet seat-cover in front of him, naked! Well, partially naked. His thin sweater worn haphazardly while his bottom half was exposed.

What happened to him?

Then it clicked... the guys from earlier. Felix took all 5 of them?! What a whore—

“D-don’t look! Please! Look away!”

Felix tried to cover himself as best he could, pulling the hem of his sweater down with one hand while using the other to cover and wipe the cum off his face using his sleeves, whilst he wailed.

Changbin’s arm hairs stood on end and a shiver ran down his spine.

He... he was crying right? Felix was crying... why is he crying?

“D-don’t look at m-me Changbin... please. I... I’m disgusting... I...”

Felix was all choked up from crying. Something inside Changbin stirred.

Changbin should leave right? He should leave. Felix probably wants him to... his mind tells him to. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to just run away and never look back.

So why did he stay?

_Because Felix looked broken..._

Why did he stepped closer to where Felix was?

_Felix needed comfort..._

Why did he took his coat off to wrap it around Felix?

_Felix was shivering. He looked cold..._

Everything boils down to Felix.

The blonde had stopped momentarily to look up at Changbin. His big eyes raw with tears, and innocent as if he hadn’t done whatever it was he did with those guys.

His cheeks were wet, and Changbin had a glimpse of his freckles that was hidden behind layers of concealer that had washed off. The freckles everyone was crazy about.

The rumors were true, Felix did have them... but they didn’t give it justice. He heard they were pretty, but now that Changbin was looking at them, splotched all over Felix’s face, it was in fact an understatement. There are no words to describe how pretty they are.

Felix himself was the epitome of beauty.

It was unfair. Why is Felix a guy?

Ah, he’s too pretty Changbin had to look away.

Felix sobbed for a few more minutes, head hung low whilst Changbin patted his hair till he calmed.

Why did Felix cry? More importantly, why was he doing this?

He really needed to leave—

“W-wait!”

Changbin turned back to glance at Felix, his face neutral, but the pounding in his chest was almost unbearable. He feared Felix could hear it.

Felix looked away, wrapping Changbin’s coat tighter around himself.

“D-don’t leave...” Felix whispered.

How could Changbin say no to that?

“Here”

Felix took the canned coffee Changbin held out for him and cradled it between his sweater paws. Changbin’s coat was too big for him. Felix had a smaller built than Changbin despite being slightly taller.

Felix took a small sip at the hopefully, warm coffee. The weather was chilly, it was November after all. When Felix let out a content sigh, Changbin was reassured.

“Thank you”

_Don’t mention it—_

“Don’t thank me you’ll have to pay me back for this.”

Changbin winced. That wasn’t what he wanted to say at all.

Felix nodded. “I left my wallet in my pack. Hyunjin’s gonna be here soon though.”

Hyunjin huh.

“I didn’t mean the coffee. I don’t want your stupid money.”

“What do you want then?”

Felix looked at him with pure wonder. He looked so innocent, but Changbin knows he’s far from that. He literally just witnessed that.

“Felix!”

Both him and Felix turned their heads towards the new arrival.

It was Hyunjin... of course it was. In his soccer attire.

Hyunjin’s eyes landed on Changbin’s before a visible glare formed on his unearthly features.

“You again” Hyunjin said sharply.

“He helped me.” Felix interjected as he stood up from the bench, limping a bit.

“From what?” They both looked at each other as if silently communicating, before Hyunjin’s eyes widened with worry.

“Not again!” Felix looked away.

What did he mean by ‘not again’? Did this happen before? Or possibly all the time? How often?

Hyunjin cursed under his breath before pulling the smaller blonde into a tight hug, one hand rested on Felix’s tiny waist and the other tangled on Felix’s hair.

“Stupid”

Hyunjin met Changbin’s eyes again whilst him and Felix hugged.

For some reasons, Changbin didn’t like it. He didn’t like the look in Hyunjin’s eyes. He didn’t like Hyunjin period.

As the taller blonde pulled away from the hug, he gave Felix a kiss on the forehead.

Changbin averted his gaze.

“Go get in my car.”

Hyunjin whispered. Felix nodded, took one last glance at Changbin, and left. For a few seconds, both males just watched Felix go. It was Hyunjin who decided to break the ice just as Changbin thought of leaving as well. He didn’t have any business there anymore afterall.

“Stay away from Felix.”

Changbin rolled his eyes before meeting the taller’s own pair. He really don’t like this one.

“Don’t worry, I plan to—“

“I know he’s beautiful, but you can’t touch him.”

“I really wasn’t plan—“

“He has enough on his hands already. Plus you don’t have a chance with him.”

“What the heck are you—“

“Felix doesn’t do relationships and is all play. So don’t even think about it.”

“Fucking slow down! I have no plans on going after Felix or whatsoever. I don’t care about his business either.”

“You sure about that?”

“I’m straight.”

Hyunjin shrugged. “Didn’t stop anyone before. This is not the first time I heard that just to learn Felix had been on their bed the next day.”

“Well I beg to differ.”

“I hope you push through with that.”

“I will.” _Will he?_ “But it’s not really your business what I do now is it?”

They stared at each other intently. Hyunjin looked away first and scoffed.

“As long as you stay away from Felix, then we’re good.” Hyunjin said with finality before leaving.

Changbin muttered under his breath.

“Brat!”

***

“Changbin the hell did you do mate? Aera was so upset.”

Aera, that must’ve been the girl Chan had set him up with. Changbin had completey forgotten about her.

Changbin received an earful from Chan, most of which flew right out of his other ear. It’s not that Changbin didn’t want to hear it, maybe, but it was more on the fact that he can’t. His thoughts circling around yesterday’s events since last night.

“Changbin! Hello?!” Chan waved in front of Changbin’s face. That snapped the raven-haired male back.

“Were you even listening?” Changbin blinked.

“Yeah?” Chan looked at him, doubtful. Well, his answer was suspicious in itself as he sounded just as unsure as he really was.

Chan shook his head. “Why’d you push her Bin?”

Changbin had been asking himself the same thing.

“Was she that bad? Should I set you up with another?”

Changbin grimaced at his friend.

“Leave me the fuck alone.”

***

Changbin blinked. He’s not really seeing Felix, the object of his recent fantasies, standing on the front door of his apartment again! Was he?

The hell was Felix doing here at 7 pm?!

Changbin just stared at the younger blankly, contradicting the inner turmoil he’s actually currently feeling.

Felix squirmed slightly on his feet, two paper bags on hand.

“Here! I washed this already.” Felix said timidly as he handed Changbin the first paper bag which probably contained the coat Changbin had lent him. Now that Changbin thought about it, Felix was a lot more timid now than he was before. Was it because he saw him?

“Oh, and this.” Felix now handed the second bag which looked more classy as if it came from a cake shop, which it probably did.

Changbin accepted both.

“What’s this one for?” He asked, monotonous.

Felix shrugged. “Just a little something for, you know, doing that for me.” The blonde said as a light blush tinted his freckled cheeks.

“I told you not to thank me for that.”

“It’s not a thank you, really.”

Changbin raised a brow. “So what am I supposed to treat this as?”

Felix shrugged again. “Just take it.”

Silence followed. Neither knew what to say next. Felix was supposed to leave right? And why had Changbin not retreated back inside? What were they waiting for?

A gust of cold November breeze blew, causing their bodies to slightly tremble. Changbin noticed Felix wrapping his arms around himself due to the chilliness of the weather. Not to mention, he was only wearing a thin, knitted sweater with probably nothing underneath.

Why did it matter? Fuck!

Felix rubbed his tiny hands together for warmth and then the words were out before Changbin could even stop himself.

“Why don’t you go inside?”

Fuck!

This was a bad idea. Changbin just knows it. They were back at that couch in Changbin’s living room. Just the two of them, again! Jisung was staying over at some friends.

Why did Changbin let Felix in again?

Felix lightly taps his fingers against his knees, not saying anything. Not even looking at Changbin. The latter, meanwhile, was just staring at the blank tv.

This was awkward.

Changbin considered offering Felix the cake that the latter bought for him when the blonde finally spoke.

“Have you thought about what you want?”

Changbin raised a brow.

“Payment.”

Oh. Of course.

Changbin thought for a moment.

“I haven’t.”

Felix looked at him with his big doe eyes. “Do you not want anything right now? Anything at all?”

Felix looked innocent yet expectant. Hopeful, for something Changbin probably knew what. No, Changbin knew what Felix wanted. What Felix wanted him to say. What Felix wanted him to do. It’s written all over his pretty face. Not to mention he personally chose to approach Changbin at this time of night.

Tsk.

Felix was kinda sly.

Changbin smirked and Felix visibly blushed.

“Come here.”

The blush in Felix’s cheeks only seemed to worsen, but he nodded dumbly and crawled towards Changbin anyways to the other side of the long couch.

Changbin held Felix’s chin with his index and thumb when the latter was within reach, tilting it slightly upwards so that their gazes would meet. The smatter of light, suntanned spots all over Felix’s face were only barely visible this close.

_Concealer_ , Changbin thought.

Felix’s face felt hot against Changbin’s fingertips, and his eyes were heated, glazed with feign innocence. Tsk.

Felix was a trap, Changbin decided. Changbin wondered how many other straight men he had confused with his eyes. How many others he had wrapped around his tiny fingers.

He won’t be like them. He’ll humor Felix, play with him a bit.

“Look at you. Like a dog in heat.”

Felix whimpered, his eyes fluttering closed. Changbin found it amusing, how easily Felix gets aroused.

Changbin didn’t know what he felt back then, but it was clear as day now. Felix really was just a whore.

“Wouldn’t your boyfriend want to know how you just randomly showed up in another dude’s home at this hour of night, looking like you’re begging to be fucked. Like the whore that you are.”

Felix’s eyes were glassy with tears and arousal when they fluttered open.

“I... n-no... I don’t... have a boyfriend.” Felix stuttered out in a small, trembling voice.

“How about that cocky blonde then?”

Felix shook his head lightly as Changbin was still keeping a firm grip on his face. “H-hyunjin isn’t my boyfriend.”

Changbin smirked. Poor guy. He wondered how Hyunjin would react had he heard that. Maybe then he’d get a little less cocky.

“Oh? So if you go down on me right now...” Changbin inched closer towards Felix’s flushed face. “He won’t mind?” Changbin teased.

Felix let out a shaky breath. “N-no”

“So what are you waiting for?”

As if on cue, Felix sank down on his knees on the floor in the gap between Changbin’s meaty thighs. Changbin was definitely hard, he’d been visualizing Felix just right where he was right now. Could anyone blame him? Felix really was good.

Changbin watched Felix hungrily as the latter pulled the waistband of his sweats and boxers down simultaneously. His semi-hard cock sprung free, the flared tip face-to-face with Felix. The blonde just stared at it for a few moments as if in awe. Felix probably was.

“Come on Felix. The dick isn’t gonna suck itself.”

Felix smiled pensively before finally wrapping his small hands around the thick member. It barely fit on one of his hands.

Felix took his time, he rubbed and carressed the lively organ with his thumb. The head, the slit, even traced the prominent veins on Changbin’s dick, a small smile on his heart-shaped lips. Felix knew how to work someone up.

Changbin just watched him quietly, lower lip tucked between his teeth as he grew harder and harder by the second. It didn’t help that Felix’s tiny hands made his cock look bigger than it actually is. Not that he was small.

Changbin swears there are girls with longer fingers than Felix.

“Your cock is so pretty, Changbin.”

Felix said out of nowhere.

Changbin’s heart suddenly picked up pace. His face heated in embarrassment, and his stomach fluttered at the younger’s compliment.

What the fuck? Did he have to say that? That was so unnecessary. But deep down, Changbin liked it.

The way Felix also looked so enamoured too. He meant it. Felix meant it. He didn’t say it just for the sake of sex.

Changbin still hadn’t recovered when Felix leaned down and planted a kiss on the tip of Changbin’s dick, his eyes closed and hands still wrapped around the base.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

He wanted to touch Felix. He wanted to just grab a fistful of the blonde hair and fuck Felix’s face till he’s crying. But he can’t. Not yet. He can’t lose his composure just from that. That’s stupid and embarrassing.

But fuck what was Felix doing to him?!

Felix continued to trail kisses down the sides of Changbin’s hard-on, kissing and nipping at it. Changbin’s breaths slowly turned ragged and heavy.

“Ahh, I never expected to be like this with you.”

Felix said breathlessly as he cradled Changbin’s cock between his hand and cheek. Felix looked up at Changbin with half-lidded eyes, the member settled atop one side of his face, covering his right eye.

A view so erotic to Changbin.

Even more so when Felix licked starting from the base and up. Changbin had to stop a groan.

“I’ve always thought you were straight.”

Huh? What was he saying? What did he mean by that? Was he implying that Changbin wasn’t straight?

Changbin’s eyes darkened. He gripped a fistful of Felix’s blonde hair harshly without warning, tugging it back with a force Felix wasn’t expecting, earning a yelp of pain from the male on his knees for him.

Felix looked wide-eyed and surprised as he met the cold eyes of the raven-haired male.

“Huh? What the fuck are you blabbering about? I am straight.”

Changbin is! He really is!

“B-but y-you...”

“What? Letting you suck me off?” Changbin retorted coldly.

Felix gulped in nervousness, his eyes pleading.

“Tsk! Aren’t you getting a little full of yourself?”

Changbin kept tugging on Felix’s locks harshly tears started to gather at the corners of the younger’s eyes.

“Ch-changbin... y-you’re hurting me.”

But Changbin’s stare remained cold, indifferent.

“It’s just a mouth.” Changbin growled before pushing Felix’s head down his cock. He buried it so deep in Felix’s throat but it didn’t seem to be a problem. Felix didn’t seem to have a gag reflex.

“Fuck!” Changbin moaned as he felt Felix’s throat constricted around him.

Felix’s throat after all, was the best!

He’d been fantasazing about this whole week. Now it was here. There really is nothing like it. Never mind that Felix was a guy. He’d do anything for this mouth!

He felt a tap on his thigh, a sign that Felix needed to breathe. So he let him pull off.

Felix took large gulps of air, his eyes watered and his hair disheveled.

What a sight.

Changbin held Felix’s chin once again with his thumb and forefinger, tilting it slightly upwards to capture the latter’s gaze in his.

“You’re just a mouth, understand?”

They stared for a few moments. An unknown emotion passed Felix’s eyes but it was gone as soon as it came. Changbin didn’t know what it was. Didn’t have enough time to tell what it was, but it didn’t matter when Felix nodded in agreement.

Changbin smirked, leaning back against the couch as he let Felix do his work.

***

“Someone’s in a better mood lately.”

Changbin threw a playful punch at Chan’s shoulder but laughed anyways.

“Yeah, what happened while I was out?” Jisung joined in. “Did you brought some girl in our apartment?”

Changbin rolled his eyes. “And what type of force gave you that idea?”

Jisung shrugged.

“Well you’ve been in a good mood since I slept out with some friends. Figured you finally got yourself laid.”

“Oooh” Chan teased and Changbin threw some food at them.

“Whatever”

“He’s not denying it.” Jisung noted, continuing with his teasing and ran when it seemed that Changbin was gonna chase him out, but didn’t of course.

Changbin admitted to having a better mood as of late. It was undeniable.

Well, if they had someone to suck the stress out of them every afternoon then they might just be able to relate.

Every afternoon, without fail. In the locker rooms, comfort rooms, or even in an empty classroom. Basically anywhere that is convenient, anywhere Changbin wanted, Felix was ready to give it to him.

Changbin had gotten himself a personal, human, fleshlight. Well not as personal as he’d like. He didn’t really know whether Felix still slept around but it was highly unlikely for him not to.

Felix’s rumors never died down when they started this... whatever this was. So Changbin figured he’s still on it. He didn’t care, so long as he could get some of the good stuff as well, which in this case, was Felix’s mouth.

Today, they were inside Changbin’s car in the empty parking lot of the school. Despite the lack of students, it was still hella risky. Technically they didn’t care. A little thrill wouldn’t hurt.

The driver’s seat was pushed way back to leave Felix some space in his usual spot between Changbin’s thick thighs. Also as to not let any passerbys see him. Uncomfortable, but they made it work.

Changbin gave light tugs at Felix’s hair as the latter bobbed his head leisurely on the older’s dick. Sometimes only licking. It was rather lazy and slow but Changbin didn’t mind. There was no rush, though he was kind of wary of their surroundings. This was nice.

“Aren’t you getting tired of this? Of me?”

Changbin looked down at Felix who looked up at him with his big, doe eyes. He had stopped with his mouth but continued with his hands, still just leisurely stroking.

“What? Are YOU getting tired of this?”

Changbin felt something in his chest. An uncomfortable feeling. Was Felix tired of him? That quickly? Did it matter? It shouldn’t right? He was the one using Felix here. He had nothing to lose.

Felix’s eyes however, only widened.

“No! Of course not! _Never..._ “

Felix whispered the last word Changbin almost didn’t caught it... but he did. He heard clearly. And a smile involuntarily materialized on his lips.

“A’ight spill”

Changbin said with an amused smirk. He rested his head on his palm as he watched Felix. The latter had on a red tint to his cheeks as he avoided Changbin’s eyes.

“I just... thought you might get bored of me just giving you head all the time. Like, maybe you wanted to try something different.” Felix said in a small voice.

“Hmm” Changbin hummed in thought. “If I get bored I’d tell you.” Changbin reassured before he let out a teasing smile. “Or maybe, it’s you who wanted to try something different.”

Felix’s blush grew darker.

Gotcha.

Felix was so predictable.

“You sure you aren’t just tired of my dick yet?” Changbin teased again, but somewhere deep down he was nervous. No, not nervous. Something more grave, more sinister... _scared_? Changbin shouldn’t feel that way.

It’s just Felix.

Felix shook his head frantically.

“I... I love it. Your dick.”

Changbin’s face heated up but didn’t show a change in his expression. He just smirked wider.

“Okay what do you want?”

“Aahhh Ch-changbin hngg~”

“Fuck quiet down!” Changbin scolded with a smile. “Does it feel that good slut?”

Felix only moaned which Changbin was quick to cover with his one hand while the other continues to stroke them together, his hand wrapped around the both of them.

Turns out Felix only wanted to get off as well, together.

Changbin should have been disgusted. This is the first time he’s ever touched another man’s dick. Or at least one that he remembered.

He kept forgetting he’d already slept with Felix once. That one drunken night. Then again, how could he forget something he couldn’t remember in the first place?

But he’d be lying if he wasn’t incredibly turned on right now.

Felix was small and pretty, pressed against his cock. His cock had never looked bigger. It was incredibly ego-boosting.

Felix rutted against his hard-on, leaking precum.

Fuck why did he find this so hot?! This should be disgusting!

It is disgusting!

But Felix was making everything so hot fuck!

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

Felix only whimpered against Changbin’s hand on his mouth.

“That’s right feel it as much as you can. You might not get another chance like this.”

Changbin stroked them faster and Felix kept up, rutting faster as well till his hips stuttered.

“Changbin! Gonna hngg~” Felix mumbled against the hand, Changbin’s big strong hand.

“Go ahead”

When Felix came, Changbin felt everything. The wetness on his hand, the twitching of Felix’s tiny dick, and the trembling of his little body.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head when Changbin kept going and his petite frame started to squirm uncomfortably against Changbin. His small fists gripped Changbin’s shirt tightly.

Changbin removed his hand from Felix’s mouth and a sob escaped.

“T-too much!”

And Changbin came.

Felix’s body went limp against his. The younger’s face dropped to his neck. They were both breathing heavily and Changbin let Felix splay on top of him like that.

When their breathing calmed, Changbin realized that Felix had fallen asleep.

Oh great!

He didn’t have the heart to wake Felix up. He looked so tired and worn and peaceful, sleeping on Changbin like this. Little snores came out of him.

Changbin sighed and carefully reached for the tissue on his dashboard to clean them up before zipping them both back inside their pants.

Felix shifted and Changbin thought he was waking up but the former only buried his face further against Changbin’s neck, still deep in sleep. Changbin felt Felix’s lips against his neck and he exhaled heavily.

He looked at them through the rearview mirror.

Felix looked so vulnerable. Well he was most vulnerable in these times. This wasn’t the first time he’d fallen asleep after. He almost always falls asleep, and Changbin just lets him everytime. But Changbin wouldn’t leave him. He would wait till Felix was okay again.

He wouldn’t know, somebody might take advantage of Felix in his state of vulnerability. He kept remembering that time he witnessed Felix in such a helpless, defenseless state. If it hadn’t been him who walked in on that, who knows what could have happened.

How could they leave Felix like that? Those heartless bastards.

Looking at the pretty blonde in his sleep, Changbin couldn’t help it. He reached for Felix’s hair and tangled his fingers throughthem. This was beginning to be a habit of his. Stroking Felix’s thick, soft, blonde strands in his sleep. The younger always seemed to relax more everytime he did.

“You’re so nice Binnie.”

Changbin tensed. How long had Felix been awake? He immediately let go of the blonde strands, earning a whine from Felix.

“Don’t stop!” He pouted and Changbin couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Brat!” But he stroked Felix’s hair again nonetheless. A content sigh left the blonde’s lips as he closed his eyes again.

Changbin stared at Felix for a few passing moments before he spoke again. “Why do you say I’m nice?”

It bothered Changbin. He wasn’t nice at all. How could Felix think that of him?

Felix’s eyes fluttered open and he lifted his head from where it rested on Changbin’s shoulders, meeting Changbin’s eyes instead.

Felix studied the older’s face for a while before a bright smile broke from his lips.

“You always take care of me.”

“Isn’t that something that goes without saying? Aftercare isn’t something optional. It’s a must.”

Felix shook his head slowly, his eyes sad. “It’s not something I always get. If I’m lucky and my hook up is nice.” Felix shrugged.

Changbin’s hold on Felix tightened, though he didn’t notice, Felix did. It caused the latter’s heart to race.

“You’re terrible in finding your hook ups then.”

Felix laughed.

“It’s not like I chose them.”

Changbin raised a brow.

“I don’t choose my hook ups Changbin. I just roll with it.”

Something about that made Changbin uneasy... no... angry? Pissed? No matter, Changbin didn’t like it.

“So when you went after my dick that night, you were just rolling with it?”

Changbin asked, pissed off. Felix looked at him again, cautiously.

“I was drunk too you know.”

“You couldn’t have been that drunk. At least not as much as me.”

Changbin noted the way Felix’s jaw clenched. Felix looked away.

“You still don’t remember what happened huh. You’re still blaming it all on me.”

Changbin perked up at that. “You haven’t even said sorry—“

“You’re terrible Changbin.” Felix cut off.

“The fuck did you—“

Changbin didn’t get to finish as Felix pulled away from him completely, got off his car, and slammed the door.

“See you tomorrow.”

Felix said, not looking at Changbin, before he marched away. Changbin was blown away.

What the hell just happened?

Felix really just went from calling him nice to calling him terrible. He was clearly upset too. Did Changbin do something wrong? Was it something he said?

Changbin ran a frustrated hand through his hair before he adjusted his seat, started his car, and took off.

Whatever happened that night, he felt like he needed to remember now. Something...

Something happened.

And Felix was upset. He was rarely upset.

Goddamnit!!

Why can’t he just remember?

Changbin arrived in his and Jisung’s apartment and he parked. Jisung was home, surprisingly. His car was there. He made his way to the 2nd floor and went inside. There Jisung laid idle on the couch, popcorn in hand as he watched some random shows on the tv.

“Ah hyung! Where have you been?”

Changbin plopped himself beside Jisung on the couch. That very same couch he and Felix...

He smiled inwardly, the thought of what Jisung’s reaction would be had he known what had took place on the very couch he was currently sat on. Changbin could already imagine him freaking out and dusting off his clothes in disgust, as if he wasn’t disgusting himself.

Changbin chuckled which Jisung stared at him weirdly for.

“What?” Changbin tried to sound snappish, but couldn’t help the slight smile that formed on his lips. Jisung looked at him more strangely after.

“Hyung you’re weird. You’re scaring me get the fuck away from me!”

Jisung started kicking him off but he just laughed and caught the younger’s feet in place.

“Fuck off I just remembered something.”

Jisung still eyed him suspiciously but soon enough, got back to watching the stupid show playing.

“You didn’t answer my question hyung. Where have you been?”

Changbin turned to Jisung who was swallowing fistfuls of popcorn one after the other, clearly uninterested. He rolled his eyes.

“Uni, of course.” Changbin said matter-of-factly.

“Sure. Well where have you been after? Your last class ended hours ago.”

Changbin looked at Jisung again who was still just munching on popcorns. He seemed like he’s not paying attention but he was far more inquisitive than he looked, than Changbin had initially thought.

“Something came up so I stayed back for a bit.” Changbin just shrugged it off to sound convincing.

“You had been preoccupied a lot these days hyung. You barely spend time with us anymore.”

Changbin perked up at that. “That’s not true—“

“Oh but it is.”

“I just had something to do.”

“Ooh. Something.” Jisung teased, even quoted with his fingers. “Don’t you mean someone?”

Changbin’s face heated and he looked away, earning a chuckle from the younger. Jisung reached out to pat Changbin in the shoulders whilst he laughed.

“You gotta introduce her to us sooner or later.”

_Her..._

It seemed like that was the only word Changbin heard out of everything Jisung had said. He felt uncomfortable... pressured? Then he remembered what for? There was no need to introduce Felix in the first place. They didn’t need to know him, just like Felix didn’t need to know them. They weren’t a couple for pete’s sake! And introducing to friends was something only couples would do.

They didn’t need to know about him and Felix.

“Since when do you keep secrets from us hyung.” It was a rhetorical question, but it got Changbin thinking. Never. They never kept secrets to each other. All his hook ups before, he’d told them. Just like they told theirs. Every single one, they know. Till Felix.

But this was different. This wasn’t a normal hook up. Far from his usual hook ups.

They didn’t need to know that.

It’s gonna cause misunderstandings for sure. Changbin wasn’t gay. And it’s just too much trouble to explain.

This was for the best.

“I’m not keeping secrets from anyone. There’s just no one, stop assuming everything.”

That came out way more defensive than intended. He felt Jisung’s eyes boring holes to the side of his face.

“If you say so hyung. Just know I don’t believe you.”

Changbin clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Then don’t. I have nothing to prove to you.” Then he stood up, a bit forceful than needed and walked out to his room. His mood tarnished completely. He slammed the door behind him and plopped on his bed tiredly.

Shame, he couldn’t have Felix over.

Felix... he needed to know what happened that night. He couldn’t ask Jisung because he knew how useless that would be. Maybe Chan knows something?

He should ask Chan right?

Changbin groaned and just grabbed a pillow and used it to cover his face whilst he fall asleep.

***

“Well this is a surprise.”

Chan said, arms crossed whilst he leaned against the doorframe of his flat. The flat he owned alone. The rich bastard. That’s why he could throw parties whenever he wanted.

“Very funny. It’s not like I never visit.”

“Well you don’t, actually. Least not till I call you over first.”

Well now that Changbin thought of it, Chan was right. He doesn’t visit.

“I’m here now. Won’t you let me in my good sir?” Chan laughed at the raven-haired’s sarcasm before he stepped aside, giving way to Changbin.

“Come in.”

The two made their way into the living room and immediately plopped on the comfy, slightly stained, couch. Chan needed to do some cleaning up, not that Changbin should talk. His and Jisung’s apartment wasn’t any better.

“So what’s up?”

Changbin thought for a moment, collecting the words and formulating them in his head first. Then he talked.

“The party you held here. When I got seriously drunk, what happened then?”

Chan quirked an eyebrow. “It was a party man, a lot happened. So I’m not so sure where you’re getting at here.”

Changbin had been there, fuck! Should he just say it? The one where he slept with...

“Do you have any specific event in mind?” Chan asked. That was Changbin’s cue.

But fuck...

He just couldn’t say it.

“Well... for starters, how did I got drunk? I usually remember things the next morning but I just don’t remember shit this time. I just think that’s very weird.”

Chan thought for a moment. “Well you had a lot to drink— Oh!”

Changbin perked up. “What?”

Chan clapped once and pointed at Changbin.

“Drinks were passed up, and I remember some contained drugs. Yeah, some students thought it was a good idea to put drugs in some of the drinks. I think you have had one of those since, well, you got drunk a lot faster.” Chan sent a teasing smile. “High and horny.”

Changbin mentally slapped himself. So that was why he couldn’t remember. And fuck, no wonder he fucked Felix. But still, doesn’t that mean Felix took advantage of him after all? Unless...

“You think Felix have had one of those too?”

Chan looked confused for a second, then it looked like something dawned on him. Like he was enlightened. Chan sent a smirk Changbin’s way and the latter knew he had caught on. Chan wasn’t exactly stupid.

“Is this about you sleeping with Felix?”

“Fuck don’t even—“ Changbin’s face burned, the cause he wasn’t sure.

Chan laughed. “Why now? It had been weeks. Didn’t you give him a piece of your mind already?”

“I did, but I thought it might’ve been unfair. I mean, I don’t recall shit. It’s like I’m blindly blaming him, it felt irrational. I thought at first it was gonna come back to me, but weeks had passed and it hasn’t.”

“Won’t it be easier to just leave things as it is?”

“But...” _Felix was so upset_. He couldn’t possibly say that. “I feel restless. I feel like I need to remember, for my peace of mind y’know?” Good job Changbin!

Chan nodded in understanding. “Yeah we do be like that sometimes.”

“It just feels like Felix knows something I don’t. Something I should know too.”

Chan suddenly looked confused again.

“Huh? Why would you feel that? Have you and Felix been talking?”

Oops. Everything was going so well. Damn it! Damn Chan and his shrewdness. And damn Changbin and his mouth!

“N-no!” Fuck that response and how unconvincing it was.

Chan had his eyebrows furrowed in a frown, and then he broke into a wide grin. Changbin didn’t like that. He didn’t like that at all.

“Seo Changbin”

“Tsk. What? Bang Christopher Chan.”

They stared at each other for a moment, Changbin glared while Chan smiled knowingly. It annoyed the hell out of Changbin.

“What?!” He snapped but Chan just shook his head, still smiling.

“Nothing. Just, your better disposition lately suddenly made sense.”

What the hell did he mean by that?!

“Stop fucking talking in riddles!”

Chan sighed in feign exasperation. “I think you need to call Felix after this.”

“And why the hell is that?”

Chan smirked. “To lift your spirits. I’m sure he’d know what to do.”

And that was it. Changbin stormed out of there pissed more than ever.

What made him think Chan would be of any help? Fuck all his friends for being idiots! Unless he could ask Jeongin...

But maybe some other time. He didn’t know what he’ll do if Jeongin decided to be a jerk as well. What a bad day.

He won’t even see Felix today since it’s a Saturday.

Changbin got pissed even more as he realized he was considering exactly what Chan had teased him about. Fuck it all!

Changbin slammed the door to their apartment, startling Jisung from the living room. He peeked his head and saw a fuming Changbin.

“Oh hyung! Mad so early?” Jisung laughed. Changbin so badly wanted to smack him. Heck he’d smack anyone at this rate.

“Oh shut the fuck—“

No fucking way!!

On the floor by the coffee table, a mop of long, blonde hair and freckles.

Jisung noticed Changbin’s surprised stare.

“Oh I didn’t tell you, but Felix and I are partners for a project. So yeah here he is. We’re gonna work on it today.”

Fucking Jisung! He couldn’t have told him earlier?! But then why did it matter? Who cares if Felix was here?

The blonde male situated on the floor smiled up at Changbin. His eyes twinkled and crinkled at the sides. An angel.

Suddenly Changbin felt all his pent up anger and annoyance melted away, diminished into nothing.

“Hi Changbin”

Jisung’s eyes widened. “You close?” Changbin suddenly felt cold sweat drip from his forehead. Jisung knew about the incident, what is he thinking right now?

“We get around” Felix simply said before turning back to his laptop. Jisung eyed them both suspiciously but shrugged it off just as easily. Changbin sighed in relief.

“I hope you don’t mind me hanging around for a bit.” Felix spoke again, looking at Changbin with that sweet smile. Changbin looked away as he felt blood rush to his cheeks.

“Of course not.” And he left for the kitchen.

***

“I’m tired of this.”

Jisung complained as he splayed himself on the floor.

Changbin caught Felix roll his eyes which was too cute his heart leaped.

“Oh please, you haven’t done a thing. It’s just mostly me doing the work here.”

Felix complained in return. Changbin smiled. Felix getting pissed off is interesting to watch.

He’d been watching Felix for the past two hours from where he sat on the couch. The way Felix’s brows furrowed in concentration, the way he bit and licked at his lips, the way he blew the strands of hair that dropped to his face, and the way he rolled his eyes every once in a while when Jisung complained of how tired he is despite his lack of contribution.

Sometimes their gazes would meet, but Felix would avert his eyes quickly. Sometimes it was Changbin. The tension between them was heavy but Jisung seemed oblivious about it all.

“What are you working so hard for even? Can’t you just like, sleep with our professor and we’d be over and done with, easy-peasy! That shouldn’t be hard for you right?” Bad joke Jisung. What the hell? Changbin’s fists clenched, he suddenly wanted to punch his friend. His rudeness just knows no boundaries.

Everyone knew Felix got rumors, including the one he just mentioned. How true it was, nobody knows. But he didn’t have to say it in Felix’s face.

Felix didn’t seem to mind though.

“Or maybe I can kick you out and do this as an individual work and you can kiss your grades goodbye! Let’s see who’s gonna need to sleep with the professor hm?”

If it wasn’t for the sweet smile plastered on Felix’s face, that would’ve almost seemed like a threat. Maybe it was.

“No, my apologies! I was only kidding!”

“If you have time to kid, maybe you should use it to help me instead?”

Felix was actually pissed. Changbin could feel it and he found it amusing.

“Why don’t you both take a break first?” Changbin suggested.

“Good idea hyung!” Jisung gave a thumbs up in agreement.

Felix looked like he was about to protest but Changbin gave him a look. A look Felix recognized easily and so he back down.

“Actually Jisung, why don’t you take a quick trip to the convenience store and buy our guest some snacks, hm?”

Jisung promptly got up in protest. “There are still some food in the fridge!”

“No those are leftovers. Are you really okay with feeding Felix leftovers?”

“We can just heat it up. Felix won’t mind, right?” Jisung was the worst. They both turned to Felix who was startled by the sudden attention his way.

Felix glanced at Changbin who was staring at him intently, waiting for his response. He was still giving Felix the look. How could Felix say no?

He averted his gaze from Changbin for the enth time in the past hour, his face heating up. He turned to Jisung and smiled.

“Actually, I wanted to have some corndogs and milkshake. Don’t they sell that somewhere down the street?” Felix said shyly to which Jisung’s eyes widened in disbelief. Disbelief that Felix really asked for something specific.

“You heard him Jisung, be on your way.” Changbin chuckled lightly.

“Why the hell is it supposed to be me?!” Jisung complained more, not letting up. Him and his lazy ass.

“Because” Changbin said firmly. “You haven’t done shit to help Felix when this is supposed to be a work by pairs right? This is the least you could do.”

Jisung turned to Felix again, looking like he’s asking for help but Felix only smiled at him apologetically.

Jisung sighed in defeat and stomped his way out, muttering under his breath.

“Get me some too while you’re at it.” Changbin shouted after him right before the door slammed close.

Both males left stared at the door for a few moments, listening as Jisung’s footsteps faded away. When it was out of hearing range and they were sure Jisung was gone, Felix jumped towards Changbin on the couch, straddling him. His arms wrapped around Changbin’s neck while Changbin’s hands rested on Felix’s waist. Their faces were close to each other as they both smiled.

“Fucking finally!”

“Surprise!” Felix giggled.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming over.”

They both talked in whispers as they were already too close to each other.

“I did say I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Oh... Right, Felix did say that. Changbin didn’t notice.

“Didn’t think you were serious.”

Felix pouted then. “Jisung is terrible.”

“Tell me about it.”

Felix laughed and his tiny hands brushed the hair out of Changbin’s face before it went down to cup his cheeks.

“You seemed angry earlier.” Felix noted, his eyes worried.

Changbin lifted a hand to hold one of Felix’s that rested on his cheeks. What was this? What were they doing?

Why were their gestures strangely intimate? Like they were lovers.

None of them seemed to care at that moment.

“It was nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Hm”

Felix studied his face for a moment, then he broke into a smile and left a quick peck on Changbin’s forehead. This bewildered Changbin. Why did Felix do that? And why was he okay with it?

_It was too quick. He didn’t have a choice._

Yes that was it wasn’t it?

“Let me make you feel better still, yeah?”

Again Changbin was startled when Felix was suddenly on his knees. A view he’d gone used to, but didn’t quite wish to see right now.

Don’t get Changbin wrong. He thought of Felix as nothing short of beautiful when he’s on his knees for him just, not now.

Felix was already fumbling with his belt when he took the blonde’s hands in his, stopping him. Felix looked up at him, brows furrowed in confusion.

Heck even Changbin was confused as hell. Didn’t they got rid of Jisung for this? No? Why did he got rid of Jisung? Why did he want to be alone with Felix in the first place?

“D-do you not want to? Am I reading this wrong?”

Felix stuttered, his eyes filled with worry. Something in Changbin’s chest tightened.

He parted his lips but found nothing to say. So he closed them again. What the hell?

“Ch-changbin?”

Felix looked really worried, and scared. Changbin couldn’t bare to see him that way. He shook his head slowly and he felt Felix stiffened.

“Actually, I don’t feel like doing this right now.”

Felix’s eyes glistened. He looked hurt, but Changbin didn’t have to see it for much longer when he pulled the blonde from the floor and onto his lap again, into a warm hug.

He felt Felix tensed, surprised, but eventually he relaxed and melted in Changbin’s arms.

“Just like this is fine.”

Changbin murmured against the skin of Felix’s neck and he felt the younger shivered. A few moments of silence passed and Felix buried his face on Changbin’s shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re okay Binnie?” Felix whispered, his warm breath hitting Changbin’s neck.

“Hm”

Changbin was okay. Really. But what was this? He’d understand Felix’s confusion as he too was confused as hell. They got rid of Jisung for this?

Oddly enough, it was satisfying for them both.

“You were upset yesterday.”

With that, Felix pulled away from the hug to meet Changbin in the eyes.

“I was. But it wasn’t really anything serious.” Felix hesitated. “Was that what this is all about?”

Pause.

“No”

Felix looked lost.

“What? Can’t I hug you? Do you not want to?”

Felix tackled Changbin then, surprising him.

“Of course I want to!” He can hear the pout in Felix’s voice and he chuckled. “Just, this is unusual. I can even say strange.”

Changbin didn’t reply.

“Why would you wanna hug me?”

Felix said in a barely audible voice Changbin almost didn’t hear it. He pretended not to hear it. What was he gonna say to that anyway?

“I tried to ask Chan today, about that night at his party.”

Felix pulled away again to look at Changbin. The latter gave him an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. I still don’t remember. And I didn’t get anything from Chan either. Just that some drugs were passed up along with the drinks. We probably had that didn’t we?”

Felix looked shocked for a second but then he smiled.

“As long as you won’t blame me anymore, I think it’s okay now.”

Changbin didn’t think it was okay. He’ll never have his peace of mind if he won’t ever remember. He didn’t say that out loud though.

Looking at Felix this close, Changbin could admit to himself, that Felix was indeed really beautiful. How did that happen? And when? His skin wasn’t the most flawless but his freckles seriously added to his charms. Changbin wondered why Felix tries to hide them more often than not. Felix had the cutest button nose. His eyes were big, innocent and pretty and his lashes were long. And his lips...

Red and pretty.

He didn’t realize he was staring at Felix’s lips. He’d always looked at it in a sensual way, imagined it wrapped around him just like it always does when they’re together. Oddly, not this time he did not.

“B-binnie?”

The way Felix’s lips moved to pronounce his name was satisfying. God Lee Felix was such a tease.

His lips were such a tease. He suddenly had this strong urge to kiss it till it swells... the urge was far too strong. And the tempt was within reach... so Changbin did what any other normal (was it normal?) human would in the face of such pretty lips.

He kissed it.

He kissed Lee Felix.

He heard Felix’s yelp of surprise, he felt him froze. But now he was kissing Changbin back with the same intensity.

Changbin’s right hand traveled to the back of Felix’s head, pushing it towards him as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. His left hand remained on Felix’s waist. Felix’s hands meanwhile, rested against Changbin’s shoulders, gripping it when he felt overwhelmed by Changbin’s kiss.

Changbin pulls away a bit to breathe but Felix came chasing right after his lips, making him smile against their shared kiss.

Lee Felix was gonna be the death of him.

For a while, nothing could be heard in the whole apartment but the sound of their lips smacking, tongue sucking and breaths panting heavily. Felix had never been kissed like this, and Changbin had never kissed that way either.

It was hot, sweet, passionate, and sensual all at once.

It was nice. Too nice that Felix at some point, let out moans which was swallowed by Changbin as their mouths were connected.

Felix’s moans were a big turn on. Changbin finds it cute that Felix turned into this mess just from making out.

He can even feel Felix’s body heat. Fuck if that didn’t turn him on.

With their lips still attached, they shifted positions. Changbin slowly laid Felix on his back on the couch whilst he climbed on top, his elbows supporting his weight. Felix wrapped his arms around Changbin’s neck and his legs around Changbin’s waist.

Changbin then became painfully aware of how aroused both of them really are from all this. He can feel Felix through his sweats and he bet Felix can feel him as well.

How did this happen?

There was no room to think. Changbin grinded his hard-on against Felix’s and the latter pulled away from the kiss to let out a moan of pleasure.

Changbin looked at Felix then for the first time since they started making out, and what a sight he was. His eyes brimmed with tears and he looked fucked out. Even more than when he was giving Changbin head.

Changbin cursed and grinded harder, faster. Felix cried.

“Changbin! Ughhh~”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!

“S-so good B-binnie hngg~~”

Changbin cupped Felix’s face. “I know baby.”

“K-kiss me more, please changbin.”

Who was he to deny his baby?

They kissed, although it seemed more like they were panting against each other’s mouth as they were nearing their climax.

Seriously why do they still have clothes on?

Changbin should’ve ripped Felix’s clothes off.

“Changbin m close~”

“Me too”

Changbin rutted faster against Felix and Felix screamed which he was quick to muffle with another bruising kiss as they both came in their pants, wet, sticky and disgusting. They were still coming down from their highs, Felix was still shuddering and sobbing beneath him when the door slammed open revealing Jisung with two plastic bags in hand.

“Yoo I’m back with your snac— WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“SHIT!!!”

Changbin’s first instinct was to hide Felix, to hide his fucked out face from Jisung’s eyes. Not that Jisung really cared about that.

Changbin scooped the back of Felix’s head, and the other his waist and lifted him up so they were back to sitting position. It was easy since Felix was still clinging onto him. He buried Felix’s face in his shoulders and held him protectively. He could never thank his past self enough for not stripping Felix off his clothes.

Jisung stood by the entrance, eyes wide as saucers and jaw hitting the floor. Disbelief was an understatement. Surprised was an understatement. Jisung looked like he’d seen a dead brought back to life.

For a while nobody spoke. Jisung and Changbin stared each other off. Then Jisung’s eyes drifted to the protective arm around Felix and the glare from Changbin.

“What are you looking at?” Changbin growled when he noticed Jisung looking at Felix. He didn’t like it, even though Jisung couldn’t even see Felix’s face.

That seemed to snap his friend back to the present situation.

“W-what the hell is going on here?! Y-you and F-felix?! Since when?!”

Felix shifted from the boisterousness of Jisung’s voice. Felix seemed to be recovering from his haze as well. His arms tightened around Changbin.

“I sh-should leave.”

But Changbin felt Felix’s legs were still shaking. He shook his head. “You don’t have to leave now.” Changbin whispered reassuringly.

“Hello?! I’m here if you guys need a reminder!”

Tsk. He shouldn’t deal with Jisung now. Damn this is fucked up. They fucked up.

“I’ll bring you to my room. Is that okay?”

Felix nodded and Changbin stood up, carrying Felix.

“Oh, so you weren’t finished? What you’re gonna continue this in your room? In my face? Shouldn’t you have done that in the first place? You just had to let me see.”

“Shut up Jisung!” Changbin snapped annoyed.

Jisung waved both his hands off.

“I can’t believe this! If you wanted to be alone so much you should’ve told me! Instead of making me buy fucking snacks!”

Jisung continued on and Changbin just rolled his eyes as he walked towards his room.

He should probably be more apprehensive about this. They were caught. He was caught half-fucking with Felix. Shouldn’t that be more of a big deal? But Changbin surprised himself when he cared more about what Felix might be feeling than his own.

He immediately closed the door to his room when they got there and situated Felix down his bed. The younger hesitantly lets go of Changbin. He couldn’t look Changbin in the eye.

“Hey hey, look at me.”

Changbin said gently, tilting Felix’s head so he could look at him. Felix looked puzzled, his eyes were glassy as if he’s about to cry. Changbin wasn’t sure if it was that or the post-orgasmic haze though.

“You’re not mad?”

“If I was mad you wouldn’t be here.” Changbin gave a reassuring smile. Something he never did. “Why would I be mad.”

“Y-your friend saw us! Didn’t you not want anyone to know?”

Felix had a panicked look in his eyes. Why was he the one panicking? Everybody knew he sleeps around with guys?

“Y-you’re gonna want to stop this now, right?”

Oh... was that it?

“You’re gonna ask to stop. B-Because you’re straight and cannot be seen with me. Or even be associated with me! I-it’s fine! I understand...”

Felix babbled on, refusing to meet Changbin’s eyes. Meanwhile Changbin tried to process Felix’s words.

“Felix—“

“I said it’s okay! We can stop this! It’s not even that deep.”

“Calm down Fel—“

“It’s fine! It happens all the time, I’m used to it don’t worry.”

Happens all the time? What?

“Felix I—“

“Please just break it off with me if you’re gonna do it!”

Changbin froze, his lips parted in both shock and awe with the little streams that slid down Felix’s cheeks. Felix was crying... again. In front of Changbin. What did he do to cause Felix’s tears? Why was Felix crying?

Changbin had the urge to wipe them away, but he stopped himself, clenching his fists tight by his sides.

“Why are you crying?”

“Huh?” Felix touched at his cheek and felt the wetness on his fingertips. His eyes widened instantly and he began to frantically wipe at them using his sleeves. “Oh dear” his voice was shaky.

Changbin watched as Felix tried to fix himself in front of him, just like that time.

Damn, Felix wasn’t even aware he was crying. Why was he so... so... _precious_?

This... this sweet, pretty, little, frail boy... this is what everyone called a whore back in campus. What Changbin called a whore, and a slut, and a bitch. Treated him like one. Treated him just like everybody else. Saw him as nothing more but a hole to be filled.

Felix just accepted everything. Never complained, never cursed anyone out, never held grudges.

Felix, sweet sweet Felix, was the boy Changbin had tried to hurt. His heart clenched uncomfortably in his chest as he thought about it now.

Felix always wore a sweet smile. He cheered Changbin up more times than the older could count. Although Changbin really just called Felix to get off, Felix always did more than just that.

Felix was a whore they said. But Felix was so much more. Changbin knew that now.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t... I wasn’t...” Felix whined, frustrated when he couldn’t put the words together, muttering words under his breath. “I’m sorry” he said again.

“I’m just gonna go. Thank you for everything Changbin, really.”

Felix was on his feet when Changbin forced him back down the bed with a shove against both the blonde’s shoulders. Changbin’s hands remained there, firm and heavy so Felix couldn’t try and escape. Changbin met the younger’s rounded eyes staring up at him, stupefied.

“Ch-changbin?”

Felix was so cute.

Changbin’s hands ran up from Felix’s shoulders to cup his neck, then his dampened cheeks, and it stayed there.

Felix looked like different emotions all at once. Surprised, worried, confused, contented... Changbin couldn’t name all of them, but one thing he was sure of, Felix needed an answer from him. Even if he was gonna leave just seconds ago, Changbin somehow knew Felix wanted to hear from him too. Either stop or keep going. Red or green light.

It was all up to Changbin.

“You’re quiet at last hmm? Are you done?”

Changbin noted the light blush that crept up Felix’s face. He smirked.

“You kept rambling on and on, not even letting me speak once tsktsk.”

“I’m sorry— mmph!” Changbin covered Felix’s mouth with his palm again to shut him up.

“Shh, it’s my turn to talk. Now first, who said I’m ending this thing between you and me?”

Silence. But of course. Felix couldn’t answer even if he wanted to. Changbin’s hand was still clamped over his mouth.

“Right? Nobody. So no, I’m not gonna break it off with you. And yes, we’re gonna continue just like what we’ve always done.”

Felix’s eyes were wide with bewilderment as he watched Changbin. Changbin basked in Felix’s attention

“Second...” Changbin freed Felix’s pretty lips. “Why were you crying?”

When after a few minutes Changbin didn’t get a reply, he sighed.

“Felix?”

“I-I’m sorry! I don’t know.” Felix averted his gaze.

“Hmm are you sure?” Changbin brought it right back.

Felix’s eyes were unsettled, refusing to meet Changbin’s.

“Felix look at me.”

Felix didn’t.

“Please?” He felt Felix stilled, before he slowly forced his eyes onto his. They were glassy and pretty, like always.

Changbin sighed. He couldn’t possibly take this.

He promptly closed the gap between them, leaving nothing in between. For the second time that day, Changbin kissed Felix... and it sure wasn’t gonna stop just there.

Felix was forced down onto the bed whilst Changbin kissed him fervently, tongue licking and claiming every corner of Felix’s warm cave, biting and sucking on his lower lip, then back to exploring his mouth, till Felix’s lips were red and swollen and his mouth filled with Changbin.

Changbin pulled away with a wet, smacking sound. It was hot. Felix was a blushing mess beneath him, already lost in their heated kiss. Changbin lifted a hand to brush his fingers against’s Felix’s cheek. Felix’s eyes fluttered close as he basked in the gentleness of the touch.

“Hey Felix, let’s do it.”

Felix’s eyes shot open and he sat up abruptly, Changbin inched backwards a bit to leave them some space, as much as he didn’t want to.

Felix looked surprised yet somehow amused. He looked in disbelief.

“What d-did you... s-say?” His voice trailed off.

“I wanna do it, with you.”

“H-huh?”

“I wanna have sex with you.”

“Y-you... m-me?!”

Changbin rolled his eyes and pinned Felix back down the bed. Felix looked alarmed but Changbin brushed it off.

“How about I just show you, hm? Or do you not want to?” There was a slight shift in the lilt of Changbin’s voice when he said the last part. He sound dejected, he hoped Felix didn’t notice.

“No! I want to!” Felix’s face burned in shame as a smile crept on Changbin’s lips, growing wider by the second.

Felix looked away. “J-just... why so suddenly?”

“We were literally dry humping in the living room.”

“Yeah, because you wouldn’t sleep with me sober. You wouldn’t want a man.”

“Yes I don’t want a man. I would never, in a million years, sleep with a man sober.”

Felix’s face dropped visibly.

“S-see? Then why—“

“But I want you. Just you Felix.”

With Felix’s astonished eyes, not another word was exchanged. Changbin lowered himself and was back against Felix’s lips, kissing deeply and passionately. This time, his hands roamed Felix’s body too. From his thin waist, he brushed at Felix’s clothed belly with his thumbs. Then his hands lowered to the blonde’s hips, then to his thighs.

Felix sighed against his lips with every lingering touch.

Then he felt Felix’s hands on him as well. Shy and hesitant touches against his appareled chest, down his packed stomach, then back up again. It settled on Changbin’s broad shoulders, before wrapping around his neck.

They made out for a few more minutes, light touches here and there, before Changbin got bolder and slipped his hand beneath Felix’s sweater, feeling the toned muscle skin to skin.

Felix gasped audibly, pulling away but Changbin sealed him with another deep kiss whilst he feel up Felix’s bare body.

It was a different sensation. It wasn’t as soft and dainty as a girl’s body, but delicate all the same. Felix’s body was tiny within his grasp, he felt like he could crush Felix in his hands if he went too hard. So his every touch was careful.

But Felix had a bit of muscles, proof of masculinity. Proof that Felix was a guy. His skin was smooth as silk though, Changbin was going crazy.

Wanting to feel more, Changbin flicked one of Felix’s nipples with his thumb and the latter gasped audibly, completely pulling away from Changbin.

Oh?

Changbin smirked.

“Like that?” He did it again and Felix let out pleasured sounds, eyes shutting close.

“You’re sensitive here huh.” Changbin fondled with it for a while more, rolling it with his thumbs and pinching lightly. Felix’s breaths were heavy now. A whine left the younger’s throat when Changbin stopped, withdrawing his hands. Changbin smiled at this.

“Off” he ordered and Felix was panicked.

“Y-you wouldn’t like what you’ll see.” Felix said whilst he crossed his arms around his body. Changbin was endeared.

“I liked what I felt though.” The redness of Felix’s cheeks had spread so far as to reach his ears and neck.

“D-did you... lock the door?”

Changbin didn’t.

“Binnie?”

“Jisung won’t come to my room.”

Felix pursed his lips and Changbin groaned in defeat, standing up to lock the stupid door. He came back to Felix already sitting up. Changbin fixed his eyes on Felix, waiting.

“Are you sure Changbin? Do you really wanna do this? With me?”

“Damn it Felix, I’m as sure as I’ll ever be. Don’t you trust me?”

The younger turned away before hesitantly pulling the sweater over his head and tossing it somewhere on the floor. The redness of his face turning a few shades darker.

Changbin was momentarily awed at the sight revealed to him. Felix’s body was... he was slender. Fair-skinned, contrasted by the smattering of freckles that dotted his shoulders, probably stretching so far as to his back. Felix felt nice, and he looked nice too.

Changbin had seen many guys topless. He’d seen Jisung, Chan, Jeongin, and many more, but no one compared to Felix. Maybe it was because he’d never looked at the others in this context, not that he wanted to. It’d be the last thing he’d ever want. But Felix... he was surprisingly okay with Felix. Just Felix.

Changbin must’ve ogled longer than was necessary, longer than he thought, as he noticed Felix’s anxious expression. Felix attempted to cover his body but Changbin stopped his hands.

“I-I told you... it’s not—“

“Not bad” Changbin cut off, staring Felix in the eyes, a smirk playing on his lips. “Not bad at all.”

Not bad? Who was he kidding, Felix was perfect!

Felix untensed, his eyes hooded as he stared at Changbin, then his gaze dropped at Changbin’s lips. Changbin kissed him again, eagerly. His kisses traveled from Felix’s soft lips to his jaw, his hand cupped Felix’s cheek. He bit on Felix’s earlobe and licked a stripe up the shell of the younger’s ear. He felt Felix shivered.

“What’s this?” Changbin whispered against the other’s ear, teasingly. Felix’s head tilted slightly as Changbin’s breath tickled him.

“You’re surprisingly timid. I thought for sure you’d be more aggressive. Just like... you’ve been... before”

Changbin said whilst he trailed kisses down Felix’s neck. The younger sighed contently, his hands tangled with Changbin’s raven strands as the older’s lips paid more attention to his neck, collarbones, and clavicle. Felix tilted his head back, allowing more access. Changbin beamed against Felix’s skin.

“I just... can’t believe it... that... we’re doing... aaahh~”

With the way Felix moaned, Changbin knew he had sucked on a sensitive spot.

“How much is it gonna take for you to believe this is real?”

“I... don’t—“

“Should I...” Changbin placed his hand on Felix’s lean stomach. “Be inside you? Do you need to feel me here, this deep? For you to believe?”

Felix whined, drawn out and loud. “Please?!”

Changbin pecked his lips. “Soon”

Changbin went lower, brushing his lips down Felix’s sternum, then Felix inhaled sharply as he felt Changbin’s wet tongue flicked on his nub. When Changbin started circling his tongue around the mound and playing with the other using his fingers, Felix almost lost it.

He squirmed left and right, not knowing what to do, as he cried in pleasure. Felix’s hands thrashed on the sheets. Changbin closed his mouth around Felix’s nipple and then sucked, Felix arched into him, keening loudly. He fell back against the bed helplessly whilst Changbin continued to suck, his teeth lightly grazing and pulling on Felix’s sensitive nipples. His hand fixed firmly on Felix’s waist.

Felix groaned in pain when Changbin bit a little too hard which the older male was quick to ease out with another flick of his tongue, giving Felix pleasure once again. He felt Felix’s hands frenetically messing up his hair, deciding to tug on it instead as the pleasure overtook him.

Changbin did the same to Felix’s other nipple. He felt the younger start grinding up to him, panting heavily, but Changbin held him still.

“Changbin! Sto— aaahh hmm... Cha—“

Changbin pulled away and Felix’s arms fell limply on the bed. Felix looked so pretty. Changbin did this, he made Felix like this. Pride swelled in his chest at the notion.

“Look at you. All messed up like this just from that. From my mouth.”

Felix took intermittent breaths as he recollected himself, his eyes held Changbin’s that shone with pride.

“You must... really like boobs huh.” Felix breathed.

“Yeah, I do. Love ‘em.”

Felix only meant it as a joke, Changbin knew. But now he could see the obvious insecurity taking over Felix’s features. Ah Changbin was stupid. An ass too, probably. He was only half-joking, but now Felix looked uncertain again.

“Oh”

“Big boobs, small boobs, any boobs. I like them all equally.” Changbin brushed his hands up Felix’s sides till it reached Felix’s chest, cupping the sides whilst his thumbs carressed the skin. “These are boobs too, no?”

“T-they’re not.” There. Felix was smiling again.

“They are. They’re manboobs.”

Felix laughed. “I never heard someone call it like that.”

Changbin beamed, placing a kiss on the tip of Felix’s button nose, before he stood up and got rid of his shirt as well, a smug smile formed his lips when he caught Felix staring shamelessly.

“Like what you see?”

“It’s even better than I imagined.”

It was Changbin’s turn to blush, again he hoped Felix didn’t see.

“Why don’t you come and touch it.”

Felix need not be told twice. He eagerly crawled towards the edge of the bed to reach Changbin’s standing figure. Felix’s doe eyes looked as if he’s asking permission to which Changbin granted with a slight nod.

Changbin felt Felix’s hands carressed his clothed hip, his lips followed after, connecting with Changbin’s lower belly. Changbin held back a groan. He was sure Felix can feel his erection through his pants. He was hard. He needed to get it out of his pants soon. But not yet.

Felix trailed kisses up Changbin’s body whilst his hands wandered Changbin’s side, his arms, biceps, every touch left goosebumps on Changbin’s skin, and alas, ended up wrapped around Changbin’s neck again. His lips home in Changbin’s.

“Fuck me”

Felix murmured against Changbin’s lips.

The last bit of restraint snapped. Changbin pushed Felix back down the bed, pulling off his pants and underwear at the same time. Felix was completely naked now. Changbin followed soon after and climbed up the bed, kneeling on it. He placed both hands on Felix’s knees and pushed them apart, spreading Felix’s legs wide and open for him. A yelp of surprise could be heard from the blonde. He looked embarrassed beyond belief.

But nothing was more embarrassing than what Changbin had came to realize then and there... he didn’t know what to do. Fuck! He ain’t got a clue.

Changbin knew where to put it in, there was only one hole there after all. And that was supposed to feel good. But like, do he just insert it in? Thinking about it in his perspective, that seemed painful as hell. How does anyone even allow someone to stick something big and hard up their ass anyway? But maybe that was just Changbin’s lack of know-how and his inexperience in anal.

He really was a straight guy after all.

“Changbin” Changbin was pulled from his thoughts as he turned towards Felix’s bashful state.

“D-don’t stare... don’t just stare at it!”

Oh fuck.

“Shit sorry. I just... so like... how do you do this?”

Awkward silence.

Then Felix giggled, and Changbin’s heart just melted. Also he was embarrassed as fuck.

“You’re so straight Changbin.” Changbin rubbed a hand at the back of his neck sheepishly.

“You have to prep me... with your fingers and some lube.”

Did Changbin have any lube? Damn it.

“You don’t have one.” Felix stated, matter-of-factly.

Oh how the tables have turned. Changbin wasn’t gonna live this up.

“It’s okay Changbin. I can prep myself.”

“No! If... if it’s possible, I wanna do it for you.” Changbin said, gaze anywhere but Felix.

Felix was always the one who pleasured Changbin. This time, he wanted to be the one to do it. Felix deserved that much. No...

Felix deserved much more.

Felix was smiling warmly when Changbin took a glance. Felix should always smile just like that.

“Give me your hand.”

Felix sank 3 of Changbin’s fingers inside his mouth, slicking it up with his spit. He swirled his tongue around the digits while keeping eye contact with Changbin. This made Changbin’s dick twitched in jealousy and interest. Fucking Felix.

He pulled it out, then guided Changbin’s hand down to his entrance. Changbin stopped a hiss from escaping his mouth. Felix looked at him, still asking for reassurance. Changbin just nodded again, but was taken aback when Felix let go of his wrist.

“You can start w-with one finger.” Felix instructed shyly.

With another nod, Changbin slowly inserted his first digit into Felix’s tight heat. It went in surprisingly easy, little to no resistance at all.

“Does it hurt?”

Felix giggled again. “No. You can move.”

Changbin did, for a bit till Felix told him to add another finger. Changbin stretched Felix with two digits now. Felix’s breathing changed, it was now labored.

“One m-more.”

Changbin added a third finger. Felix gasped as he felt his hole stretched even more around it. But this was nothing compared to Changbin’s cock. Felix knew this.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, please just keep moving.”

Changbin smiled as he did so. One thing Changbin knew, there was supposed to be some sort of spot. What did they call it again? Right, the g-spot! And apparently that was supposed to feel good. Changbin had to find it, Felix’s g-spot.

He buried his fingers deeper, searching. Then he touched something that made Felix took a sharp intake of breath. Curious, he gently touched it again and Felix moaned out loud. Oh god. Jisung could probably hear him.

Changbin poked it again and Felix was tearing up. He clawed at Changbin’s biceps, earning a hiss from the latter. But Changbin liked Felix’s every reaction. So he massaged that spot and Felix let out moans after moans.

“Changbin! Hngg~ Nn~”

“Feel good?”

“Enough Bin ahh~ gonna cum if you aahh~ don’t... stop.”

Changbin teased a little more till Felix grabbed his wrist to stop his movements.

“Your cock... inside... put it inside me! Please please Binnie?”

Fuck!

Changbin gently pulled his fingers out, Felix’s hole was left clenching onto nothing. So fucking hot what the fuck?!

He grabbed a condom from his bedside drawer and unwrapped it, pulling it on his hard shaft. Felix wasted no time and spat on it, then wrapped his tiny hand around Changbin’s member, stroking it to spread the improvised lube.

Fuck Changbin could’ve cum from that.

Then Felix inched away, turning around in all fours, his ass presented to Changbin. Felix lowered his head, placing his left cheek against the mattress, still looking at Binnie. Changbin just stared in awe at how beautiful all this was. How beautiful Felix was.

“Binnie!” Felix whined, wiggling his ass to get Changbin’s attention. The latter snapped out of his reverie.

“Sorry” Changbin said sheepishly. He shuffled closer to Felix, gripping his ass cheeks and spreading them open. He heard Felix’s soft whimpers. Changbin gave a few strokes to his hard cock before finally positioning it against’s Felix’s hole.

Changbin groaned at the first contact. Felix’s hole was giving way for his cock as he slowly pushed the tip inside.

“Fuck! So tight!” Felix moaned, throwing his hips back to have more of Changbin, but the latter kept him still with his firm grip. “Stay still!” Felix whined but complied.

Changbin slowly pushed in more inside, feeling the warm tight heat enveloped his whole hardness as he bottomed out, his hips snug against Felix’s ass cheeks. Felix sighed, breathless.

“You’re so big.”

“Does it hurt?”

Felix shook his head once. “No, feels good. Please move.”

Changbin rocked his hips once whilst still inside, making Felix yelp.

Changbin grumbled as he felt Felix’s ass tightening around him slightly. Fuck that felt good!

Changbin retracted his cock till only the tip was left inside then thrusted back inside, hard and emphatic. He did it again, faster and with a bit more force than the last. With every new thrust, Changbin increased his pace and became rougher.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!

Felix feels so good. It feels so fucking good to be inside him. With every shove of his dick, Felix lets out small, cute, high-pitched noises, his fists clutching the sheets tighter. Felix was so cute fuck. He was so good, so pliant. Changbin needed him to be louder. He needed to find that spot again.

Changbin tried to angle his thrusts. Nothing changed, he tried again and boom! Air seemed to got caught up in Felix’s throat as his body was filled with renewed pleasure.

Changbin grinned and kept his thrusts angled in the direction of Felix’s prostate, brushing past it with every shove of his cock. Felix got especially louder, Changbin’s name on his lips was utter sin he would gladly not be forgiven for.

“Aaahhh Changbin! Changbin! Bin! Binnie!”

Again and again, Changbin wouldn’t get tired of it, of this. It was too good. But it will end soon. Changbin was close, and from the sounds Felix was making, the way he buried his face and desperately grasped at the sheets, and the way his body trembled, Changbin could tell Felix was close too. And just to confirm it all, Felix mewled.

“Bin I-I’m close.”

Changbin squeezed at Felix’s hips so hard it would mark and bruise, and pulled it towards him as he snapped his hips, burying his manhood deeper inside Felix that he blubbered against the sheets. Changbin fucked Felix ruthlessly towards the mattress he could’ve been one with it. Changbin had never been this rough, but he couldn’t help it with Felix. It was almost animalistic. He wanted to ruin the boy, make him feel his cock for days. He’d do exactly that.

Changbin grunted as he continued to ceaselessly mess up Felix’s insides. Then a thought occured to him.

He pulled out quickly and harshly flipped Felix on his back. The younger male didn’t even have the time to register what was happening before Changbin was fucking into him again, pace unperturbed.

But oh fuck.

Changbin just wanted to see it. He wanted to see Felix’s face when he cums, nothing prepared him for what he saw, however.

Felix’s fogged up eyes glazed with tears that dampened his flushed freckled cheeks, his red runny nose, his swollen lips and his salivated chin. Changbin took it all in, his stomach coiling.

Damn it!

Changbin leaned down to capture Felix’s lips in one sloppy, messy kiss. Felix wrapped himself around Changbin instinctively, his legs and arms pulling Changbin closer to him, as if they weren’t close enough.

Changbin’s thrusts were unceasing as ever. Another particularly emphasized stroke against the other’s prostate and Felix abruptly pulled away from Changbin’s plush lips. His head tilted back, face contorted in pleasure, and back arched. Changbin hissed as he felt Felix’s nails dug and clawed at his back as he screamed out Changbin’s name throughout his intense orgasm. Felix came, spilling white between their stomachs.

“Changbin! Ughh Changbin...”

Changbin’s hips stuttered.

Felix’s fucked out face, his pleasured voice, his shuddering body, soft whimpers, and his walls that clenched so tightly around Changbin’s member was what sent him to the edge, cumming hard inside the condom.

“Jesus Fuck Felix!!”

Goddamn how could he forget something like this? Something so good like this? What a waste.

Changbin pressed their sweaty foreheads together whilst they catch their breaths. They could feel each other’s breaths fanning and cooling their sweat-slicked skin.

Felix was out of it, his eyes half-lidded and drowsed with sleep. But he smiled tiredly.

“How was I?” Barely a whisper, but Changbin heard it alright since they’re so close. Changbin could’ve sworn his heart made a skip.

He smiled in return. “You’re amazing Felix.”

***

Ah Changbin really did it this time. For real. Did he regret it?

Of course not. How could he? When he was the one who asked? And when it had felt so damn fucking good. He would gladly do it again too.

But Changbin wasn’t gay.

He doesn’t think he’d start sleeping with boys soon, or even be attracted to them. No way.

He guessed that Felix was just different. He’d make an exception for Felix.

When Changbin had come out of the shower looking fresh in his black sleeveless shirt, gray sweats, and wet hair, he had noticed Felix blushed from his bed, before typing words in his laptop again.

Felix had took a shower before Changbin. He was now in one of Changbin’s hoodies, a pastel blue. He didn’t know he had that to be honest, but it looked cute on Felix. More so because he was swimming in it, typing in his sweater paws.

Fuck Changbin sounded whipped for a second there. Which he wasn’t. He wasn’t even inlove with Felix or anything of the sort. That would be gay, which Changbin wasn’t.

“Is Jisung still here?”

“Didn’t see him around.”

Felix hummed, typing away.

“Useless Jisung.” Changbin said as he walked towards his bed, plopping down on it beside Felix. They had changed the sheets.

Changbin just watched Felix work. The way his nose would scrunched up before erasing a whole sentence or a paragraph which Changbin guessed, he didn’t like. Felix wasn’t really getting anywhere, and Changbin could feel his frustration building up.

Felix sighed, deep and tired.

“When is that due?”

“Next week”

“You have a whole week to work on it then. Why don’t you just rest.” Changbin stated more than suggested.

“I don’t know...”

“Besides that should be done by pairs right? Jisung isn’t even here.”

“Yeah but it wouldn’t make a difference even if Jisung was here.”

Changbin chuckled, earning a small smile from Felix. “Good point.”

Felix giggled, and Changbin had to remind himself that no matter how pretty Felix is, he was still a guy. Sure he’d have sex with him, but that’s as far as Changbin would allow it.

Other straight guys sleep with Felix too. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Then he remembered what Hyunjin said. And what he said to Hyunjin.

He really ate his words from then didn’t he? It was frustrating but Changbin didn’t care that much. Who cares what Hyunjin thinks?

“Just rest Felix.”

Felix looked torn, Changbin could tell he wanted to, so what was stopping him?

As a result, Changbin took the laptop from Felix, earning a “Hey!” from the younger but Changbin ignored him, putting the laptop away. Felix couldn’t do anything.

“Changbin give it ba—“

“Come lay with me.”

“Wh-what?!” Felix turned beet red instantly, Changbin cackled. He knew what Felix was thinking.

“We’re just gonna lay in bed okay? You silly.” Changbin flicked Felix’s forehead. “I’m not a sex addict.”

“O-okay” Felix turned an even brighter red at that. He slowly sank into the bed, pulling the comforter towards him till it covered until his chest. They laid there facing each other. A comfortable silence settled in the air around them. This was nice.

“What are you thinking?” Changbin asked, voice quiet. Afraid that if he were to speak too loud, he would break something. This trance.

“That I’m your... f-first.” Felix said in an equally quiet voice. “First boy! I mean uhh...” Felix added immediately, his cheeks heating up. Changbin felt his own cheeks warming up. Fuck.

“Shut up.” Changbin shot, embarrassed. He was still kind of registering what happened. He still couldn’t believe he actually slept with Felix, and that he was the one to initiate things. Though this wasn’t even the first time, it kind of was to him. Because now he was sober, they were both sober.

Felix pursed his lips, eyes filled with worry. “Do you... regret it?”

Changbin’s eyes softened. “No”

“Really?”

“Really”

Changbin stared Felix straight in the eye seriously as he replied to show his sincerity. Felix broke into a beautiful, blinding smile.

Mercy! Changbin must’ve saved a whole country in his past life.

Felix is the first, and only boy Changbin would ever embrace.

Silence.

“What are you thinking about Binnie?”

Changbin sighed.

“In Chan’s party...” Felix hummed. “We did it, didn’t we?” Felix blinked, caught off guard.

Changbin just needed something else to think about, but this was bothering him too.

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing just... it was more complicated than I thought. I can’t imagine how we did that before, drunk out of our minds. I didn’t hurt you did I?”

Felix looked away and there’s Changbin’s answer.

“I’m sorry Felix.”

“No” Felix cupped Changbin’s cheek. “Hurt will always be a part of it, I think. But it’s just in the beginning. You didn’t exactly hurt me Changbin. I don’t remember much from that night either, but I remember feeling good because of you.”

“I wish I can say the same.” Felix laughed.

“Always be a part of it huh... so did it hurt earlier?”

“There’s a slight burn, but I kinda like that too.”

Changbin smirked. “Do you now.”

Felix playfully hit his chest, laughing. “Ow” Changbin winced fakely and Felix laughed even more.

“I answered your question, so now it’s my turn to ask.”

Felix shrugged. “Okay”

“Why did you leave come morning?”

Felix chortled. “Still about that huh.”

Changbin rolled his eyes. “Just answer the question.” Felix shakes his head with a grin.

“I don’t want a broken nose.”

With that, Changbin perked up. “Hey I’m not that bad.”

“You would have beaten me up though. Would you not?”

Changbin avoided Felix’s big, curious eyes. Changbin would definitely have beaten Felix up. But he couldn’t even bare think about that now. He regretted ever thinking about hurting Felix.

Felix didn’t deserve it. Changbin was being a douche.

“It’s okay. I understand. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Oh Changbin was definitely gonna beat himself up about it.

“My turn.” Felix exclaimed happily. That was the only time Changbin looked at Felix again. All smiles and warm eyes, a sunshine. Did Changbin deserved to be this close to him?

“What rumors do you hear about me?”

Changbin almost choked on his saliva but covered it up by clearing his throat. Of all the things Felix could ask. Felix was waiting.

“They’re stupid.”

“I still wanna know.”

Changbin thought for a moment. “You probably know about all these though.”

“That’s okay. Just wanna know how much you heard.”

Changbin bit his lip. What was the matter? Usually, he didn’t have trouble saying things like these. Heck it didn’t even come from him, but he didn’t want Felix to hear it from him. All the things they say about him behind his back. Changbin refused to be the one to break it to Felix, even if he somehow already knew. Not when Changbin has a clear view of Felix’s face. Changbin shook his head.

“Ask something else.”

“What? Come on Changbin please? I just want to know. Don’t worry it won’t hurt me. I’m too used to it.”

Changbin grimaced. It was good that Felix isn’t that affected anymore, but the idea that Felix got used to it made Changbin’s gut twist. How much did he have to hear? To have grown used to it? Changbin didn’t wanna know. And he didn’t wanna know why it affected him either.

“No”

Felix’s face dropped. “Okay” he said, dejected.

Silence.

Changbin opened his mouth to speak but Felix beat him up to it.

“Did you...” Felix swallowed. “Did you believe the rumors?”

Did he? Honestly, Changbin didn’t care. He didn’t care about the rumors. But somehow, Changbin wouldn’t have been surprised if it all turned out to be true. At least most of them.

“Some of the rumors were ridiculous.”

Felix nodded. “And the rest?”

Changbin pursed his lips. “They’re just rumors.” He said after a while.

The corners of Felix’s mouth upturned, forming a smile, but his eyes gave it away. Felix closed his eyes, sighing deeply. When he opens them, Changbin caught his gaze. Changbin couldn’t read Felix’s expression then.

“Changbin... I... “ Felix bit his lip, his fingers fiddling with the pillowcase. “I don’t sleep with professors.”

Huh?

“I don’t suck boys off in the bathroom during breaks either. Not in that bathroom on the top floor where they always say I do.” Felix laughed, forced and humorless. “I haven’t even been there.”

“I don’t just give head to anybody. It’s not true that I always initiate stuffs. I don’t even know half the people who said I come at them, how desperate I was.”

Changbin’s eyes slowly widened as he realized what Felix was doing.

“And I might be easy, but I don’t just give it to anyone either. It’s not true that I sleep with every boy I meet.”

“Why tell me this?”

Felix shrugged, lips still curved upwards.

“Just because.”

They held each other’s gazes. The afternoon light bathed Felix’s skin, exposing the pretty freckles on his face and the warmness of his brown eyes. His hair glimmered with the light that passed through the gaps of each strand. Ah, Felix might as well be the sun himself.

The next few words he uttered however, weighed on Changbin’s mind and further messed up his confused feelings.

“Do you believe me?”

Does he? Does Changbin believe Felix? He didn’t know Felix that well. But something in the way Felix looked tells Changbin he was being sincere. That he was telling the truth. How could he believe otherwise right?

But Changbin must’ve taken too long to answer. Felix chuckled dryly.

“Why believe me right? Why believe a whore—“

Changbin ran his mouth before he can even stop himself.

“If you say you didn’t do it, then you didn’t do it.”

He caught Felix’s hand cinched the sheets beneath them, his eyes glistened with unshed tears as his lips pressed together in a tight line. He looked like he was trying so hard not to cry, to keep his tears at bay. It was an awful sight, it felt awful too. Changbin hurt, his heart felt like it was being squeezed in his chest. He wanted to reach out to Felix, but he held it in. But he could only held in so much.

“You mean that?” Felix’s voice cracked.

Fuck it.

He shuffled closer to Felix, cupping his cheek and pressing their foreheads together, eye to eye.

“I believe you Felix.”

A sharp breath, then he closed the remaining gap between them, making their lips touch. Only touch, nothing more nothing less. Sweet and soft. He felt Felix’s breath of relief against his lips. But Changbin pretended he didn’t feel how his hand gradually got soaked from the waterfalls of Felix’s closed eyes.

For the third time again, Changbin witnessed Felix cry.

He kissed Felix deeper, maybe because his heart broke a little too.

***

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me on twt @chnglixhoe
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated. I love to know yalls thoughts on the fic :)
> 
> winkeu ;)


End file.
